Welcome to 2nd trimester, baby!

The first trimester is left behind! Welcome to the second trimester, the most marvelous time of the whole pregnancy. No more morning sickness and evening fatigue, but not yet carrying this huge bump that prevents you from putting your shoes on and even sleeping normally…all night long. Oh, I remember this all very well. When I was last months pregnant with Den, my bump was really HUGE. I had a special U-form pillow for pregnant. Oh, was it a salvation? It was really working. This pillow was my best friend during last 2 months of pregnancy. So, I know how it feels. But if we talk about second trimester, this is the prime time of pregnancy. The bump is already showing out but still makes no discomfort. People’s attitude changes: now everyone knows you are pregnant and you get this special type of attention. So sweet! Then come first baby’s kicks. Then knowing baby’s gender, choosing name. Of course, I feel a sort of nostalgia for that time. I know that for me it will never repeat again… BUT it’s a new history of our family and life is going on. Even though the baby is not in my bump, this is still MY and MY HUSBAND’S baby and this is our pregnancy, after all.

It was the 12^th week and we met our surrogate. She is a lady of 35 years old, 3 years older than me. A bit taller than me, looks healthy, athletic type. We couldn’t see her growing belly yet but she says it was growing a bit. Maybe. 

The lady’s name is Galia or Galina. She is Ukrainian and comes from Kiev region. She needs to cover more than 100 km to get to Kiev, to the clinic. We met last Friday. It was the time of our 12 weeks scan and we all were excited. Firstly, because being introduced to each other for the first time, secondly, because of the baby’s ultrasound and first clear image and video. Galia seemed a bit embarrassed to meet us. I could feel it. Or maybe she is just so modest. She wasn’t very talkative even though there was a translator to ease our communication. She ensured us that she is feeling well now, but used to have some morning sickness at earlier stages. She lives with her two children of school age, and her husband. When we asked her, if her children need something and we can provide it for her, she said nothing. Ok, anyways, we will bring something for them the next time we’ll travel. This time we brought presents as well. I hope she liked them: it was a golden pendant, a pack of delicious things from Norway, and some souvenirs. By the way, she has never been abroad. Never. Hopefully, she knows what Oslo is, the city we live in. At least, she said she does.

The ultrasound scan was a pivotal moment of the whole trip. We had to wait for our doctor near her office for around 20 minutes, but hopefully our English speaking manager was with us, thus we had a chance to communicate with Galia and to know each other better. By the way, she said she feels that it’s a girl! We’ll see.

Our Dr Elena ensured us that everything’s fine with the baby and with surrogate. She said that the size of the baby is respective to pregnancy term, collar space is ok. The baby was moving. He/she was shaking arms and legs and that was…fantastic. We’ve got the video and I keep watching it again and again now. Our baby! Our little pea!

This same day we had to travel back home! A tiring trip, very tiring, but so extremely emotional. I hope we’ll repeat all that in four weeks, at our 16 weeks scan. The travel is worth all those emotions we received. It was fantastic. I already started begging Martin to arrange our next trip to Kiev.

I’m counting days!

Grow, baby, grow!

You’re always on our mind! Day and night! We love you and we are waiting for you!

xxx

Flying to Kiev tomorrow!

Hi to everyone who is following me.

I hope you all had gorgeous St.Valentine’s Day with your dearest people. I did, and even though nothing really special was planned, we had a good evening in family circle, cooked some fish and salad, and a pie. No candles, but still it was a very warm evening. After all, we’re not in our 20s any longer. However, maybe when we get older, we’ll get back to candles again? Who knows?

There’s great news I would like to share with you today. The clinic confirmed the day of surrogate’s scan. It’s Friday, the 17^th of February. Tomorrow we’re taking our flight to Kiev, late at night, again, like the previous time. The only difference is that this time we’re travelling without our son, Den. This will be a very quick trip: Friday evening we’re already travelling back home to Oslo. A bit tiring, but we will have two weekend days to have some rest after this trip. Also, I’m sure Den will be missing us much, so we didn’t want to stay there for long.

I hope there will be no delays, every hour of our trip is scheduled. So, we’re supposed to meet the lady who is carrying our baby on Friday morning. I’m very excited and a bit nervous. I’ve got some presents to give her. We all will see the baby on ultrasound scan. The 12^th week is scan is one of the most memorable. At least, it was for me in my first pregnancy. I hope they will do some photos and video for us.

So, I have to end up here today. Many things have to be done before we depart. Please wish us luck and safe flight. I’ll drop a line to inform you on our journey as soon as possible.

Sweet regards,

Agnete! 

Time to say Hello

Hi, how have you been? Please forgive me for being silent for a while. This last month was very special for me and my family. I would even say “specific” but still special as well. Gorgeous news that we received just on New Year’s eve gave impetus for a new whirl of our family life. Yes, a new page of the family book. Our surrogate is there in Ukraine and she is pregnant. She is miles away and we know almost nothing about her, still there’s a new-coming member of our family there in her belly. Oh, I knew surrogacy is a challenge, but I didn’t know HOW exactly it will feel like. It feels a bit awkwardly, indeed, even though the same pleasant and marvelous as natural pregnancy. Maybe this is because we still haven’t met our surrogate mum? I hope. Now it all feels a bit incomplete. You want to be there, you want to be in control, you want to be IN. But this is just lyrics. I’d say: emotional component. What about factual component? The most evident fact about our surrogacy journey is that 12 weeks scan is approaching and this time we are invited to be IN. This time we can travel there to Kiev and be present at all scans, talk to managers and doctor, see the results of all tests, and the last but not the least – to finally say Hello to the woman who is pregnant with our baby. Even though she speaks no English, and we know no Ukrainian, I hope we’ll enjoy this very first communication. I know there will be an English speaking manager to help us translating, as well as at all procedures in Kiev we had to pass through. BUT (oh, sure, how could we go without this “magical” word But?) my husband is now on his business trip. He returns only in three days and he is still uncertain about his plans for the next week. Also, this time I would like to leave Den at home with grandma so we’ll have to adjust our schedules as well.

I try to be loyal to myself and my inner voice says not to get frustrated even if it doesn’t work and we won’t be able to travel. Still I hope we will. I want to see my baby on the monitor with my own eyes, this is an important milestone of the whole journey, isn’t it? 

Everyone knows and everyone cares

The last several months were as if not from my life: sometimes it seemed to me that I’ll wake up one day and find out that it was just a dream. At times, it was scary, at times it was incredibly tough, at times I felt as if I’m helpless and losing every little hint of hope.

However, things turned out to be maybe even better than we initially expected. Yes, yes, it’s a bit tough for me to confess but we didn’t expect that our surrogate will get pregnant from the very first attempt. Just imagine: our first IVF ever. I know that so many people keep trying again and again and nothing works so I was very afraid of failure. I know this is not right. After all, hope and positive approach is above everything else, but having heard some stories of recurrent unsuccessful IVFs we just didn’t want to be disappointed at once. And please don’t throw stones at me. It was a tough time both for me and for all of my family: tiring flights to Kiev, waiting, first hormonal stimulation with dozens of painful injections, painful surgery of eggs retrieval and then waiting again. Getting our positive beta test from Biotexcom clinic was really the sweetest and the most expectant present we could ever get for Christmas. Ok, and then waiting again (let’s not forget about this most essential part of our surrogacy journey). They said that normally they do first ultrasound two weeks after beta test but in our case it was several days earlier (am I that lucky again?). They say everything’s fine and they will keep monitoring our surrogate mother and her pregnancy.

Of course, it’s too soon to say “done” because the first trimester of pregnancy is so fragile. I know it from my personal experience: when I was pregnant with Den I was hospitalized with slight bleeding. It was on the 9^th week of pregnancy. They said I was running through a big risk of placental abruption and thus losing pregnancy. Hopefully, we called the doctor at once and they did everything possible to save pregnancy. So I know very well how it feels and what it really is.

That’s why I keep thinking about that woman whom I still don’t know but who carries my baby. She definitely has her own child/children because this is their requirement for intended surrogate mothers. So I hope she cares well of herself and my baby as much as she cared about her own pregnancy.

Loads of love on all of you!

Happy New Year!

Christmas and New Year holidays is one of the best time of the year for me and for all of my family: lights, Christmas tree, presents, relatives, friends, tasty food, good movies and festive mood. This year we got a very special present on New Year’s Eve – our surrogate’s ultrasound confirming that there is one healthy pea that has stick and develops normally in the uterus. Our baby! Still so tiny and so far away from us, but still ours. And we love him/her immensely. Could there be a better Christmas surprise?

I’m still thrilled and worried for every single detail about our surrogacy pregnancy especially now when I know the clinic is on winter holidays. I hope our surrogate and baby feel well.

My one and only wish for all those couples trying to conceive is to finally have their long-awaited baby in 2017.

Let all of us have a fantastic year!

Hug you all!

The pressure is on!

Please forgive me that it took me so long to update you this time.

These few days were extremely full of emotions from immense joy to hesitation and thrill. Have you been waiting to know our HCG test result? I’m sure you did, at least once.

We received a letter from clinic’s representative on Monday morning. Finally! It seemed to me that this day lasted forever. I was checking my email again and again millions of time and nothing happened. By the time I finally received the letter, I was already pretty tired and exhausted with waiting. When I finally saw it in my inbox, I stopped breathing for a while. I opened the letter and saw the words of congratulations and our HCG test that was showing number of 320. Can you believe it? I couldn’t. At that time, I was like: “Is there anyone to pinch me and I’ll wake up”.

My husband was still at work at that time. I was thinking how it’s better to present this new to him. Of course, it would be much more romantic if I could hide my test with two fat lines in a present box or something like this. However, the situation is different and I should have searched for more witty solutions. I was flying like a butterfly over our house. Then I decided to find Den’s newborn baby booties. We had very beautiful white ones. I put them on a pillow just in the middle of the sofa where Martin usually has rest after work. I was very nervous and thrilled. I know he wouldn’t ask me any questions before he gets to the sofa so I wanted to be the first.

Ok, he saw the baby booties on the pillow and understood everything. He started hugging and kissing me and then asked many questions. It was an unforgettable evening.

At first, I was a little bit worried that number of 320 didn’t seem big enough to me. The test was done on the 14^th day post transfer. Then I read some info and asked ladies on forums. Everyone told me that it’s absolutely positive and may indicate even twins.

What’s next? We’re waiting for our first ultrasound. They told that as a rule they do it in 2 weeks after HCG test but they will have a row of Christmas and New Year holidays there in Ukraine, so they told us that the ultrasound is scheduled for the 28^th of December, a bit earlier, you see. They told that only ultrasound test will set everything clear with our pregnancy so we’re waiting… again…and again.

Loads of fertility dust on you, sweethearts!

Xxx

Today

It’s the end of two weeks wait. Yes, it’s today. Hopefully, we survived this unbearable period. It seems that the whole eternity has passed.

I really hope our clinic will contact us today. At least, they told us that HCG blood test is scheduled for today. I already surfed the internet and learnt everything about first weeks after embryo transfer, about development, tests and normal values. By this time, HCG should be quite high already. We’re expecting to see a big number.

Gosh, it seems that today the time stopped. I’m checking my email every 15 seconds. It seems I’ve gone crazy. Such a long way behind and what’s ahead? Has it worked? How does she feels? So many questions running through my head.

In any case, all that I can do is wait and hope for the very best outcome. That’s why I decided to continue this diary. It helps me relax a bit.

At first, I wanted to wait until the result and only then update you. Anyways, I was silent for a long time that’s why I’m here.

Maybe some of you who are following my diary have already got your BFPs during this time. Is there anyone? Happy expectant mom? Please send your fertility vibes on me.

My husband tried not to talk much about it yet. He knows I get too excited and nervous each time we start talking about surrogacy. Moreover, my son got ill in a few days after we came back from Kiev so we both were busy with him. He is still so young and needs care, attention and love. She is absolutely fine now, hopefully. By the way, we’re getting ready to his birthday party that will be on Friday – 4 years already. A big boy. Only our closest people will be invited so it’ll be small family celebration. Still, he wants to have a big cake and a lot of balloons so we’ll have to take care about it. And of presents, of course.

Let me wish you a good day.

I wish all of us get only good news today.

I’m waiting for our 3 figure HCG test result. I hope biotex replies promptly and won’t make me wait even longer than these unbearable two weeks.