Flying to Kiev tomorrow!

Hi to everyone who is following me.

I hope you all had gorgeous St.Valentine’s Day with your dearest people. I did, and even though nothing really special was planned, we had a good evening in family circle, cooked some fish and salad, and a pie. No candles, but still it was a very warm evening. After all, we’re not in our 20s any longer. However, maybe when we get older, we’ll get back to candles again? Who knows?

There’s great news I would like to share with you today. The clinic confirmed the day of surrogate’s scan. It’s Friday, the 17^th of February. Tomorrow we’re taking our flight to Kiev, late at night, again, like the previous time. The only difference is that this time we’re travelling without our son, Den. This will be a very quick trip: Friday evening we’re already travelling back home to Oslo. A bit tiring, but we will have two weekend days to have some rest after this trip. Also, I’m sure Den will be missing us much, so we didn’t want to stay there for long.

I hope there will be no delays, every hour of our trip is scheduled. So, we’re supposed to meet the lady who is carrying our baby on Friday morning. I’m very excited and a bit nervous. I’ve got some presents to give her. We all will see the baby on ultrasound scan. The 12^th week is scan is one of the most memorable. At least, it was for me in my first pregnancy. I hope they will do some photos and video for us.

So, I have to end up here today. Many things have to be done before we depart. Please wish us luck and safe flight. I’ll drop a line to inform you on our journey as soon as possible.

Sweet regards,

Agnete! 

TWW

I bet you can’t even imagine what I feel now. Or maybe you can. Still it’s an absolutely new feeling for me – our two week wait started. You know, I’ve never imagine how thrilling it is when you go through IVF route. In my case, surrogacy. Now I know that I can’t just go to a shop and buy a few home pregnancy tests in case I won’t be able to wait anymore. No, I can’t. 14 days and maybe even more: it depends on how soon they will get blood test result and email it to me. Our surrogate mother will come to the clinic for beta HcG test only on the 19^th of December. Ok, it seems I’m running ahead of the story. I missed some major information and skipped to what is the most essential to me.

Our embryo transfer was on Monday. Two 5-days blastocysts were transferred to surrogate’s uterus. They advised to transfer 3 embryos but we didn’t agree. They say it increases the chances for positive outcome. Maybe. But what if all three stick? It’s risky for pregnancy and for surrogate’s health, and even if all three are delivered safely – what will I do with 4 children? So, we agreed on transferring two. Two more were frozen. They will be used in case of failure (but I hope it won’t be). They emailed me an embryo report. There was information about eggs collected, their quality, fertilization method, number of days for cultivating, number of embryos received, and their quality. All embryos are of perfect quality as far as I understood. It was a bit hard to understand the report but finally we did it. It’s my first IVF report ever so I was a bit lost.

Of course, I’m very happy that everything goes well by now. I hope that lady realizes her mission and takes care of herself and of our future babies. I never thought that surrogacy is so tough emotionally: you understand that you’re in control of nothing. Yes, these are your embryos but inside of the woman you have never ever met. Who she is? How does she look like? Is she smart and intelligent enough? Where does she live and what is her daily routine? Will she take care of herself? Will she choose good food and omit smokey places and lifting weights like you would do if you were pregnant? Surrogacy is magic combined with immense thrill and uncertainty. Sure, it’s a magic for us to hope for our flesh and blood baby after such serious surgery that leaves no chance for natural pregnancy. In the meantime, she is there miles away and we are here. The closest time we can meet is only in around 10 weeks (if it works, of course). In Biotexcom, they don’t allow seeing surrogates until the 12^th week of pregnancy. I was wondering why and I asked our manager. She said that even if the result is positive, the first trimester of pregnancy is considered very fragile. Especially in case of twins. They said that making connection with surrogate too early may be additional stress for us and for her in case something goes wrong. I’m sure you understand what I mean. Maybe they are right. Maybe they are too strict. We discussed it with Martin. He said that this might make sense. They assured us that surrogate mother will be very thoroughly monitored by their doctors and regional representatives. We know that she lives in a small town far from Kiev so she will have to travel to Kiev once a month for tests, checkups, ultrasound and screenings. Her nearest test is Hcg, of course. That’s the pivotal moment through the recent 4 months. We’re keeping everything possible crossed and asking babies to stick. Den also knows what’s going on. Probably, he has his own vision of situation but he knows that he was traveling to Kiev for his little brother or sister. He wants a sister so much. Of course, he doesn’t know any details (hopefully, he haven’t asked yet). I know that one day I will have to explain everything to him but not now. In any case, I’m sure he will understand.

To sum up, I invite you to join our two week wait club! Maybe, you’re also waiting, maybe not. In any case, if you read this long post till these words, you’re interested in my journey and I invite you to join this very exciting world. Waiting is unbearable. If I didn’t have a child who always keeps me busy, it seems I’d go crazy through these long two weeks. In any case, we’re all charged positively and are waiting to get their good news soon. Are you with us? 

Regards from snowy Kiev

Today I even do not know what to start from. It’s the second day after eggs retrieval and I still have pain in my lower abdominal, obviously in the places of puncture. It still bleeds slightly. They say it’s ok. My poor belly was full of bruises after hormonal injections and now this all is doubled with inner pain and weakness after anesthesia. Gosh? The same question again and again: Who told that women are the weaker sex?

Despite of all my post-stimulation and post-surgery tortures, there’s the main fact that should be underlined: the surgery went well. And yes, this is the key factor in this story. The day was magical from the very morning. They told me not to eat anything before the surgery. I woke up and looked through the window: everything was cover by virgin white snow and it was still snowing. I don’t know why, but I decided that it was a good sign. The driver came to take us to the clinic at the appointed time. It seems that traffic was getting more intense because of snow.  We started to get nervous that we won’t get to clinic in time. Hopefully, our driver knew the best way and took us to the clinic just on time. They took me upstairs. It was warm there, so I almost forgot about snowfall that was outside. My anesthesiologist was really a humorous man. He was definitely in a very good humor so I relaxed a bit. He asked something from my manager. They told me to take off all clothes and to dress a one shot medical gown. It was complete anesthesia. I remember myself counting and then I fall into very deep sleep. They told it was around 15 minutes. For me, it seemed like 30 seconds.  Not feeling anything, nothing at all. No nervousness, no pain. I had so many questions and I was waiting for my manager to come. She ensured me that everything went well and told that I will get a report on how many eggs were retrieved a bit later. She also gave some recommendations on my post surgery care.

Oh, I forgot to tell that my husband was done with his sperm pickup even before they took me to surgery room. They use everything fresh for our fertilization: fresh sperm and eggs. They told that 8 eggs were retrieved. We still don’t have any report on embryos. Maybe it’s too early. In any case, our embryo transfer is planned for December 5. We had a separate discussion with our doctor and manager of how many eggs should be transferred. They said that they can transfer up to three eggs. I know that it increases chances of successful ivf, but still it increases chances of multiples and we were not so much overwhelmed by the idea. I love children but raising triplets accompanied by a toddler was not actually what we were dreaming of. So we gave our consent on transferring two embryos.

They told me that it would be better to stay in bed for 2-3 days after the surgery. Our air tickets are booked for tomorrow night so I have one more day for rehab. We have another long and tiring flight back home, again with a change in Frankfurt, so I have to get better soon. Hopefully, Martin keeps Den entertained. They give me as much time for rest and sleep as I want. There’s a maid who cooks dinners for us and cleans the apartment, so we have nothing to worry about. It was already late evening when it stopped snowing so heavily. They went outside to play with snow. I’m sure they had much fun. Snow was shining on the moonlight and was so divinely white that it seemed that ground was covered with down and it felt so comfy in this fur coat.

Today it doesn’t snow anymore and the sun is shining so brightly that I even had to pull down roll curtains on my windows. This time it reminds me that Christmas is so soon. According to my approximate calculations, we will get to know the result of our surrogate’s pregnancy just a few days before Christmas. But let’s not run before we can walk. Flying home tomorrow and will be looking forward to their updates on our embryo transfer on Monday. I hope my eggs will be good enough for fertilization and embryos will develop properly.

PS: it seems that I forgot to tell you a few other important steps of our surrogacy journey that took place during this visit. Most importantly, we had to make the second payment according to our payment schedule. This time it was 7 900 euros. This was the second installment. By this time, we have already paid 15 900 euros in total. Also, we signed contract with our surrogate even though we still haven’t seen her. They told that we will be able to meet her only when pregnancy is confirmed. Ok.  Now our future totally depends on Biotexcom embryologists and gynecologists. I hope they will do their best for us and our attempt will be positive. Everything crossed!

A postcard from Kiev

Good evening to everyone who is following me here. So much to tell you this time, so much news and updates so this post definitely won’t be brief. First of all, we safely got to Kiev but “safely” is probably the best characteristic of our flight. In fact, it was a long and tiring flight with one change in Frankfurt. Thus we got to Kiev when it was already late night. As I probably told in my last posting, I was a bit concerned about out hotel transfer. When we traveled to Kiev the first time, Biotex’s driver met us at the airport and took us to the hotel. But it was day time. I wasn’t sure that they provide same service at night. And my worries weren’t groundless. There was no driver. They told us to find a booth with inscription “Biotexcom” and they will call a taxi for us. Maybe because we were so tired after the flight, we couldn’t find the booth at once. We were wandering around arrivals lounge for around 10 minutes before we finally saw a small window with necessary inscription. Oh, thanks. Really, there was a lady who called a taxi for us. The taxi came in around 10 minutes and around 30 minutes yet to get to the apartment. Yes, this time we stay in the apartment which is very cozy and spacious. It’s much better than the hotel they accommodated us the previous time. In any case, at 3 am we didn’t care about it. we just wanted to get to bed as quick as possible.

Next morning we were already at the clinic. We were met by our manager (is it a sign or not, but she is pregnant!). They took my blood for tests again and then we were taken to our doctor. There were four more couples in the lines to see this doctor so we had to wait. She did ultrasound test and physical examination. She said everything is the way it should be and told me to follow the initial protocol, with no changes. Oh, was it a relief? I was so worried that my body might have poor response on merional and eggs won’t grow. But she said that everything was fine.

What about Den? He was really making fun there at the clinic (even though it seems that he should had been much more quiet but we couldn’t do anything, really – oh, I’m so sorry for this. Moreover, he found a friend there – an Italian boy of around a year older than he. Their fathers did their best to calm down these two but it’s really very tough for a toddler to wait for hours in a closed building. Then the manager told us that we may go downstairs and treat our boys with busicuits and hot chocolate. They liked the idea. Moreover, it was a new room where they could look everything around with interest.

So, now knowing that everything was fine with my stimulation, we could breathe easily and decided to go sightseeing. Sure, the weather was not very indulgent for long walks, but still we visited several Kiev cathedrals with these gorgeous golden domes and the central street called Khreshchatic. We also found an Opera House and Martin said that we should see the ballet. When we came to the box office, it was a bit tough to communicate with old Ukrainian woman who was selling the tickets. Hopefully, there was a young lady who knew English so she helped us buy good tickets. We were really surprised by the price of the tickets. Our pit stalls sits cost around 25 $ which is a minor price if compared to European opera houses. The ballet was called Corsar by Adolf Adan. We were full of impressions. Den was also with us. He was the one who felt a little bored by the play so we had to go a bit earlier. But it’s ok. I knew he won’t sit there till the very end.

My eggs retrieval surgery is scheduled for Tuesday. Tonight I’m making Pregnyl 10000 injection. It’s hormonal injection of Hcg. They told to do precisely in 36 hours before the surgery. So, I’m making it at 10.30 pm tonight. I hope you’re still keeping your fingers crossed for me. Are you? The day is coming – if everything’s ok, fertilization will be the same day.

Brief note - the process started

I think I will keep it short today and with some good news. I got an email from my Biotexcom manager who supervises our surrogacy program. Our doctor considered my last ultrasound and confirmed on stimulation. Everything within the protocol they signed back then when we traveled there for the first time in summer. We start with Dipherelin. If I’m not mistaken, this means that we’re in long protocol (they also have a short protocol). I don’t know how they determine what type of protocol is best but I hope they know what they are doing. As I’ve told you already, our doctor there is Elene Mozgovaya MD. They ensured me that she is very skilled and have been working in this clinic for already many years and that her type of treatment usually shows good result. It’s very inspiring. Moreover, I’m happy she’s a woman. I don’t know why, but I don’t like male gynecologists. I know they say that a doctor is a human being without gender, but still. Everyone knows it not true. Moreover, it’s easier for a woman to understand another woman. I think so. And yes, it’s my, very very personal, point of view. Maybe I’m wrong. In any case, I think they don’t even have other male gynecologists there. At least we saw only women.

So my trigger shot of Dipherelin was yesterday. 3.75 one shot doze. Hopefully, my mother-in-law is a nurse and she agreed to do all those injections for me. It saves a lot of time and she is really very good at it. I almost felt nothing.

I was feeling well after injection but for headache. I think it’s due to the weather so I don’t associate it with injection itself. It’s impact on my body is quite profound so I was afraid of profound side effects. It’s the second day after injection and I’m feeling well. I hope this sets a good beginning to this big deal.

Have to close by now. My biscuit-tea break is coming to an end. My son is still sleeping but I want to have a fresh banana-cream dessert cooked for him when he wakes up. He likes banana. Ok, have to go.

I wish you a very warm weekend with your nearest and dearest. xxx

Looking forward to fussy weekend and very important Monday scan

It’s all the fuss about Halloween. Frankly speaking, I’m not a great fan of big holidays. Really. Some of my friends think I’m kind of weird in this thing. Everyone gets crazy about any single reason to celebrate and gather together with friends. I also like family and friends reunions, though. For me, they are not necessarily associated with any particular holidays. Do I need a reason to visit a friend of mine? No. Does she need a reason to call on me? No. Despite of having very positive intention, holidays still get this all stressed out. In any case, Halloween is approaching and we were invited to our best friends place to celebrate. She has three children: 10, 8 and 3 years old. Actually, her younger son is the best friend to my Den. My friend whose name is Astrid likes to cook and she cooks a lot. My role in this “universe chaos” celebration is in decorating the house and entertaining kids. Some of the games are known to us from the previous celebrations, some will be new. In any case, I think all that matters for a kid on this fussy day is his most scary costume in the world. Last year Den was in this skeleton costume which this year is too short and too tight for him. So we ordered a new one. This time it’s Batman. Ha! He looks rather cute in it, I must admit. We chose it together. Yeah, my kid is growing older and I no longer can take decisions on my own (a bitter sweet feeling).

Another stressful thing about this terrific holiday is “treat”. Yes, the essence of all this carnival. I know everyone will give them candies and I’m a crazy mom up to this point. You see, my son in his 3 years old already has cavities in 4(!) teeth and had one of the cavities stuffed just a month ago. I think his teeth are very bad genetically (from his father) and he is very apt to cavities. I’m crazy about oral hygiene that’s why candies are a forbidden fruit for my little one. On holidays, the situation always gets out of control (another reason why I’m very biased regarding holidays).

Ok, there are times when you just have to yield and let it go. Children love this holiday immensely so let them just enjoy. As for me, I know that I will have quite different thoughts running through my head when everyone will be freaking it out. My ultrasound is scheduled on Monday and it will determine the day of stimulation trigger. And one more thing to tell you: I’m not afraid anymore! I’m so resolute to start like I was never before. I still have no idea of how I will be feeling but I’ve also heard from more experienced ladies in all this assisted reproduction that the medicines on my protocol are safe and usually show great results. I also know that much depends on my attitude to the whole thing happening. That’s why I decided to take emotions under control and send my positive vibes to the universe to attract success to my surrogacy treatment.

Happy Halloween everyone! 

How it all started

It’s chilling outside. It gets colder each day. Time to think, take care of yourself and of your home. I decided to reset my consciousness after a row of these very stressful and painful events. I asked my mom to stay with Den and drove to the nearest IKEA store. New kitchen curtains and towels, and also toy boxes for my son – done. Feeling a little bit better now. You know, I can’t understand what’s the magic about it. Shopping really helps me to fight stress. A weird thing.

Apart of all that, I’ve been surfing the net a lot recently, reading doctors’ and other patients stories, blogs and recommendations before starting my first ivf. I still have a lot of questions in my head. I look at this huge pack of medications they gave me. Truly speaking it frightens me a bit.  As I’ve told you before, my son was conceived naturally (the second months we’ve been trying to conceive). I knew that a lot of couples keep trying months and years, so I was surprised when I saw these desired two fat lines on the pregnancy test. Actually, I felt I was pregnant even before the test. Then, when I noticed the period is 1-2 days missing, I realized this is it. Things changed greatly since then. Hopefully, I have a doctor to treat me with a very beautiful name Elena. My future mothering is in her hands.

Ok, it seems that it’s high time to tell you about how our fertility journey started. As I’ve told you already, I’m from Norway. Surrogacy is prohibited by law here, unfortunately. Ethics are ethics, religion is religion, but still… have Norwegian politicians thought of women like me? Nope.  Anyways, this is another story.

Obviously, from the time we both decided on trying surrogacy, we knew we would go internationally. We google searched a lot, registered on fertility forums and asked other couple’s opinion. Our research brought us to two options: Georgia and Ukraine. These countries have the best surrogacy conditions and guarantees for intended parents. At first we thought to contact an intermediary agency. We thought we would be more protected if we proceed with the agency. We contacted a few ones. What we found is that they take big fees for their service. I asked my forum friends how safe it is to deal directly with fertility clinic, omitting all mediators. Those who dealt with clinic directly told us that it saves a lot of money and even time, as you can speak directly with clinic’s manager and make appointments when it’s comfy for you. Also, even before you travel for the first time, you can ask manager all questions you have. (I had dozens of questions). And the money aspect – you pay initial price established by the clinic, no overcharging.

The next step was studying local surrogacy legislation. Surrogacy legislation in both countries we were opting is quite favourable for intended parents. They have specific set of laws to protect IPs’ rights and the rights of SM (surrogate mother).  Intended mother shall provide medical certificate proving her disability to carry pregnancy on her own. Restrictions for SMs are also set by law: age 18-39, being absolutely healthy and having at least one healthy child. What we liked and what was obviously one of the most crucial points in legislation aspect is that SM has no right to change her mind and keep the baby after delivery. IPs are considered biological parents of the child. Birth certificate is issued with the name of IPs as parents, no name of SM mentioned. It was very important for me.

The second serious thing to consider was contract conditions and fees. I found reproductive clinics’ directory on the web with their contact info and websites. Some websites provided service and price info, some didn’t, so I had to email them. The prices are different. Conditions are different, too. My advice on it: when considering surrogacy fees, ask your consultant if the price is final and what extra fees are, if any? Also, consider the number of attempts they provide. It may be only one attempt (no matter own or donor eggs), several attempts or endless number of attempts. Also ask if medications are covered by your contract. What I’ve noticed, is that some clinics assign lower price, but then it will be doubled with costs of all medications needed. So please mind this.

Finally, we decided to proceed with Ukrainian clinics, firstly based on lots of positive reviews and surrogacy experience in this country, secondly on its geographical location. It’s cheaper and quicker for us to travel to Ukraine than to Georgia.

To sum up, we chose three clinics we would like to visit in Kiev, the capital city of Ukraine. We booked our air tickets. We asked my parents to stay with Den during our travel. We had just two days to stay there and take decision, so I knew it’d be an exhausting time. Ok, we made appointment with three clinics. Initial consultations were for free. Thus, we got our bags packed and we were impatiently waiting for our first trip. 

The best is yet to come

Is there anyone waiting for these weekends more than I do?

This is going to be a great time. You may call me a lazybone but I’m looking forward to a very relaxed and free of any duties weekend. Why? My parents are taking my son to their place for the whole weekend so that me and my husband could have all the time in the world together. We’re always busy working that’s why such moments “just for ourselves” are so rare and so long-awaited by us. Of course, we’ll be missing Den. Anyways, I know he’ll have a gorgeous time with grandparents and his cousins. Yes, they are gathering a small kindergarten there! My parents love gathering all their grandchildren from time to time at their place. My dad has so many games to play with them and my mom, she cooks gorgeous pies that they love so much. Oh, I love them too but I’m no longer three years old to eat them as much as I want (age is taking its toll and now I have to be very picky in what and how much I eat).

There is one secret reason for why I’m keeping strict and very healthy diet now. Are you interested to know? I know that very soon I’ll be stimulated for eggs growing in my ovaries that will be used for our first IVF ever. If you read my previous posting, you may already know that I had my uterus removed after the first natural delivery. We took courage and applied for surrogacy program! Own eggs surrogacy! Yeah, they approved me for own eggs stimulation! Luckily, my ovaries still function ok. They checked my hormones, ovarian reserve and did blood tests (both to me and husband). All exams were fine and they gave green light for two IVF surrogacy attempts on our own genetic material. This is a long story to tell and this is actually why I started this blog.

We met a lot of new and unknown things in the sphere of reproductive medicine we were absolutely unaware before. Yeah, they really do miracles! They help even in the worst cases of infertility. They know how to omit genetic diseases. They can choose baby’s sex. They can fertilize woman even in menopause! And even more importantly – they can transfer my own embryo to a healthy woman who will give birth to my baby!

We have already signed our contract and currently we’re waiting for a proper surrogate for us. We couldn’t choose the surrogate. Our clinic’s doctors choose surrogates based on medical criteria. They told that her health is all that matters. Ok, perhaps this makes sense. As for us, we got instructions on dieting and vitamins during this period. They gave me this huge pack of medications for ovulation stimulation so we’re waiting for their green light to start.

Are we overwhelmed? Like we were never before!