Welcome to 2nd trimester, baby!

The first trimester is left behind! Welcome to the second trimester, the most marvelous time of the whole pregnancy. No more morning sickness and evening fatigue, but not yet carrying this huge bump that prevents you from putting your shoes on and even sleeping normally…all night long. Oh, I remember this all very well. When I was last months pregnant with Den, my bump was really HUGE. I had a special U-form pillow for pregnant. Oh, was it a salvation? It was really working. This pillow was my best friend during last 2 months of pregnancy. So, I know how it feels. But if we talk about second trimester, this is the prime time of pregnancy. The bump is already showing out but still makes no discomfort. People’s attitude changes: now everyone knows you are pregnant and you get this special type of attention. So sweet! Then come first baby’s kicks. Then knowing baby’s gender, choosing name. Of course, I feel a sort of nostalgia for that time. I know that for me it will never repeat again… BUT it’s a new history of our family and life is going on. Even though the baby is not in my bump, this is still MY and MY HUSBAND’S baby and this is our pregnancy, after all.

It was the 12^th week and we met our surrogate. She is a lady of 35 years old, 3 years older than me. A bit taller than me, looks healthy, athletic type. We couldn’t see her growing belly yet but she says it was growing a bit. Maybe. 

The lady’s name is Galia or Galina. She is Ukrainian and comes from Kiev region. She needs to cover more than 100 km to get to Kiev, to the clinic. We met last Friday. It was the time of our 12 weeks scan and we all were excited. Firstly, because being introduced to each other for the first time, secondly, because of the baby’s ultrasound and first clear image and video. Galia seemed a bit embarrassed to meet us. I could feel it. Or maybe she is just so modest. She wasn’t very talkative even though there was a translator to ease our communication. She ensured us that she is feeling well now, but used to have some morning sickness at earlier stages. She lives with her two children of school age, and her husband. When we asked her, if her children need something and we can provide it for her, she said nothing. Ok, anyways, we will bring something for them the next time we’ll travel. This time we brought presents as well. I hope she liked them: it was a golden pendant, a pack of delicious things from Norway, and some souvenirs. By the way, she has never been abroad. Never. Hopefully, she knows what Oslo is, the city we live in. At least, she said she does.

The ultrasound scan was a pivotal moment of the whole trip. We had to wait for our doctor near her office for around 20 minutes, but hopefully our English speaking manager was with us, thus we had a chance to communicate with Galia and to know each other better. By the way, she said she feels that it’s a girl! We’ll see.

Our Dr Elena ensured us that everything’s fine with the baby and with surrogate. She said that the size of the baby is respective to pregnancy term, collar space is ok. The baby was moving. He/she was shaking arms and legs and that was…fantastic. We’ve got the video and I keep watching it again and again now. Our baby! Our little pea!

This same day we had to travel back home! A tiring trip, very tiring, but so extremely emotional. I hope we’ll repeat all that in four weeks, at our 16 weeks scan. The travel is worth all those emotions we received. It was fantastic. I already started begging Martin to arrange our next trip to Kiev.

I’m counting days!

Grow, baby, grow!

You’re always on our mind! Day and night! We love you and we are waiting for you!

xxx

Signing up contracts: costs, guarantees, number of attempts, payments and service included.

It’s 12^th day of my period and I’m starting stimulation this month. Hurray! Yeap, we’ve been matched with a surrogate mother (I still know absolutely nothing of who she is) and they synchronize our cycles. I have to do ultrasound in 6 days to ensure everything’s fine and I can start stimulation. It’s a long protocol starting from Dipherelin 3.75, one shot.  

Now I know it’s a high doze and I’m a bit afraid of side effects and how I will be feeling. From the other hand, I know that our doctor Elena is one of the leading specialists there in Biotexcom so I hope she knows what she is doing.

Surely, I’ll keep you updated on how we proceed, and now as I promised I’d like to tell you of how we finally made a choice, probably one of the most important choices in our whole life. These two days in Kiev were very busy but in the meantime very informative. It was not easy for us to make a choice, I must admit. All clinics we visited seemed quite good, modern and providing high level of service. Now the most crucial question was price and guarantees. Yes, guarantees. For newbies like me the category of “guarantee” sounded quite strange for a start. What guarantees do they mean? Ok, let me explain. It seemed that we were the only couple there who was opting surrogacy and knows nothing of what IVF is. Couple/women contacting fertility center for surrogacy usually have a background of a row of unsuccessful treatments: IUI (intra-uterine insemination), IVFs, donor egg IVFs, and even surrogacy attempts. With all those failures, they wasted time and money. That’s why guarantee of having a baby is so important to them. You know, we met a very kind couple from Denmark there in the clinic. They had 6 unsuccessful attempts of ivfs (both donor and own eggs) and trying to conceive for almost 10 years. I felt really sorry for them. I can’t even imagine how painful it might be. Now they switched to surrogacy. They told me that they had signed with this clinic mainly because they provide unlimited number of attempts for fixed price. In this particular case – donor eggs surrogacy. The same is provided by our contract. The only difference is that I give my own eggs. I go through hormonal stimulation. They can’t stimulate me endlessly. Thus, in case it won’t work from the first two attempts, they will have to shift for donor eggs. They told us that if we desperately want it to be our eggs with no shift to donor eggs, we’d better choose single attempt surrogacy program. It costs less but no guarantees, as you understand. Just one shot. Like a Russian roulette. Of course, I desperately want my future baby to be genetically connected to me. But losing money and flying away with big fat negative was also not a great prospective for us. We signed up for unlimited number of attempts: two attempts on my own with further transfer to donor eggs. Still hope so-so-so MUCH that our two attempts will work. I will do everything possible and impossible for this.

They offered us to choose between three contracts. The cheapest one is Economy package, cost 29 900 euro. Then comes Standard package – 39 900, and VIP package 49 900. All three are “all-inclusive” and provide guaranteed success. All legal and medical expenses are covered in each package, as well surrogate mother and egg donor fees (in case of egg donation). In economy package, you will have to cover all expenses in case of premature birth. Also, if pregnancy due to certain conditions stops after the 12^th week (very unlikely, still may happen), you pay compensation to a surrogate mother – 6 k euro. With Standard package, the clinic covers all these expenses (premature birth and pregnancy loss after 12 week). It may sound a bit too complicated to figure this all out, I know. We read all those contacts several times and asked dozens of questions before we could finally digest information and take a certain decision. With VIP contract, it’s easier – your contact is ultimately all inclusive: no extra charges, luxurious separate accommodation, business car transfers and personal driver, Ukrainian mobile phone, baby sitter, pediatrician and even all baby stuff you need. I think this package enables you with much more privilege, however we didn’t consider this package as an option for us mainly because of the price. So obviously I can’t be a very good counselor as to this particular package. I’m sure it’s more than great, but still we were choosing between economy and standard. We finally signed up for the last one. For us, it seemed to be a perfect combination of price and quality. Also, with this contact they provide better and more spacious accommodation which was a very important criteria for us because next times we will be travelling with our 3 (almost 4) year old son and he needs a separate bedroom.

It seems that I forgot to mention that no matter what package you choose, they provide airport pickup, transfers, interpreter service and even meals. I find it rather comfortable. We spoke with those who are already parenting babies there in biotex (waiting for all their papers to be ready for leaving back home which may take a month or two, so be ready). They said that it’s so comfortable: they have a maid who cleans the house and cooks fresh meals so that you can concentrate on your baby with no extra fuss.

Having made the first payment of 8 k euro, we we’ve been waiting for a match with gestational carrier for around 10 weeks. Our next payment (7 900 euro) is scheduled on the day of eggs retrieval. I’m still very overwhelmed, a bit worried about hormonal stimulation (mainly because I’m afraid to do anything wrong) and afraid of eggs retrieval surgery in general. But still I have this very warm feeling deep in my heart that it will work for us. 

PS: the photo attached is our hotel room provided by the clinic we’ve been staying at in Kiev