Baby preferred to keep it in secret

Hello my dear friends!

Another week passed and we are already in our 17^th week. We’re getting closer to the middle of our pregnancy. With each new week, I keep reading about how our baby changes and develops, about his new achievements. The baby is already around 18 cm tall! His movements are more controlled now. He can touch his face or suck his thumb. He can hear much better now and can recognize voices. Of course, I wish I could talk to him and tell him how much I love him and wait for him here, but this is what I’m unable to do.

I call our baby “he” but in reality we still don’t know if it’s he or she. We received our 16 weeks scan last week, with ultrasound photos and videos. The baby is growing, surrogate is feeling well. They handled second genetic scan and the result was good this time as well: low risk for genetic abnormalities. But as to gender of our baby – no news again. I know 16 week is too early, but we were so impatient to know. All our family is waiting. We also want Den to know if he is expecting a sister or a brother. As I’ve told in one of my previous posts, our surrogate thinks it’s a boy.

The next scan and check up is on the 20^th week. Three more weeks to wait. Maybe this time we’ll fly to Kiev to meet our surrogate and see her growing bump, but only time will show.

As to my other news, Martin got back from his business trip but we failed to have some good rest this weekend because Den got ill again and currently I’m taking care of him. It was flu and he is slowly but steadily recovering. This morning we even went for a walk together. So in general, I’m a bit tried after this week. Mom’s heart is never at rest when her child is not feeling well. But we always do our best to help them recover as soon as possible.

So, I’m closing by now, with thoughts about my two babies: thee one who is just next to me coughing and with a running nose, and the second still so small but already so endlessly loved.

Warm hugs

xxx

Welcome to 2nd trimester, baby!

The first trimester is left behind! Welcome to the second trimester, the most marvelous time of the whole pregnancy. No more morning sickness and evening fatigue, but not yet carrying this huge bump that prevents you from putting your shoes on and even sleeping normally…all night long. Oh, I remember this all very well. When I was last months pregnant with Den, my bump was really HUGE. I had a special U-form pillow for pregnant. Oh, was it a salvation? It was really working. This pillow was my best friend during last 2 months of pregnancy. So, I know how it feels. But if we talk about second trimester, this is the prime time of pregnancy. The bump is already showing out but still makes no discomfort. People’s attitude changes: now everyone knows you are pregnant and you get this special type of attention. So sweet! Then come first baby’s kicks. Then knowing baby’s gender, choosing name. Of course, I feel a sort of nostalgia for that time. I know that for me it will never repeat again… BUT it’s a new history of our family and life is going on. Even though the baby is not in my bump, this is still MY and MY HUSBAND’S baby and this is our pregnancy, after all.

It was the 12^th week and we met our surrogate. She is a lady of 35 years old, 3 years older than me. A bit taller than me, looks healthy, athletic type. We couldn’t see her growing belly yet but she says it was growing a bit. Maybe. 

The lady’s name is Galia or Galina. She is Ukrainian and comes from Kiev region. She needs to cover more than 100 km to get to Kiev, to the clinic. We met last Friday. It was the time of our 12 weeks scan and we all were excited. Firstly, because being introduced to each other for the first time, secondly, because of the baby’s ultrasound and first clear image and video. Galia seemed a bit embarrassed to meet us. I could feel it. Or maybe she is just so modest. She wasn’t very talkative even though there was a translator to ease our communication. She ensured us that she is feeling well now, but used to have some morning sickness at earlier stages. She lives with her two children of school age, and her husband. When we asked her, if her children need something and we can provide it for her, she said nothing. Ok, anyways, we will bring something for them the next time we’ll travel. This time we brought presents as well. I hope she liked them: it was a golden pendant, a pack of delicious things from Norway, and some souvenirs. By the way, she has never been abroad. Never. Hopefully, she knows what Oslo is, the city we live in. At least, she said she does.

The ultrasound scan was a pivotal moment of the whole trip. We had to wait for our doctor near her office for around 20 minutes, but hopefully our English speaking manager was with us, thus we had a chance to communicate with Galia and to know each other better. By the way, she said she feels that it’s a girl! We’ll see.

Our Dr Elena ensured us that everything’s fine with the baby and with surrogate. She said that the size of the baby is respective to pregnancy term, collar space is ok. The baby was moving. He/she was shaking arms and legs and that was…fantastic. We’ve got the video and I keep watching it again and again now. Our baby! Our little pea!

This same day we had to travel back home! A tiring trip, very tiring, but so extremely emotional. I hope we’ll repeat all that in four weeks, at our 16 weeks scan. The travel is worth all those emotions we received. It was fantastic. I already started begging Martin to arrange our next trip to Kiev.

I’m counting days!

Grow, baby, grow!

You’re always on our mind! Day and night! We love you and we are waiting for you!

xxx

Flying to Kiev tomorrow!

Hi to everyone who is following me.

I hope you all had gorgeous St.Valentine’s Day with your dearest people. I did, and even though nothing really special was planned, we had a good evening in family circle, cooked some fish and salad, and a pie. No candles, but still it was a very warm evening. After all, we’re not in our 20s any longer. However, maybe when we get older, we’ll get back to candles again? Who knows?

There’s great news I would like to share with you today. The clinic confirmed the day of surrogate’s scan. It’s Friday, the 17^th of February. Tomorrow we’re taking our flight to Kiev, late at night, again, like the previous time. The only difference is that this time we’re travelling without our son, Den. This will be a very quick trip: Friday evening we’re already travelling back home to Oslo. A bit tiring, but we will have two weekend days to have some rest after this trip. Also, I’m sure Den will be missing us much, so we didn’t want to stay there for long.

I hope there will be no delays, every hour of our trip is scheduled. So, we’re supposed to meet the lady who is carrying our baby on Friday morning. I’m very excited and a bit nervous. I’ve got some presents to give her. We all will see the baby on ultrasound scan. The 12^th week is scan is one of the most memorable. At least, it was for me in my first pregnancy. I hope they will do some photos and video for us.

So, I have to end up here today. Many things have to be done before we depart. Please wish us luck and safe flight. I’ll drop a line to inform you on our journey as soon as possible.

Sweet regards,

Agnete! 

Happy New Year!

Christmas and New Year holidays is one of the best time of the year for me and for all of my family: lights, Christmas tree, presents, relatives, friends, tasty food, good movies and festive mood. This year we got a very special present on New Year’s Eve – our surrogate’s ultrasound confirming that there is one healthy pea that has stick and develops normally in the uterus. Our baby! Still so tiny and so far away from us, but still ours. And we love him/her immensely. Could there be a better Christmas surprise?

I’m still thrilled and worried for every single detail about our surrogacy pregnancy especially now when I know the clinic is on winter holidays. I hope our surrogate and baby feel well.

My one and only wish for all those couples trying to conceive is to finally have their long-awaited baby in 2017.

Let all of us have a fantastic year!

Hug you all!

Packing our luggage

It’s the third day of hormonal stimulation with Merional. I wanted to drop a line earlier but the weekend was such a fuss. My first Merional injection was on Saturday and congratulate me: I did it myself. It was very stressful, I must admit. But there was no one there to help me so this was my only option. You know, in reality it’s even easier than I thought it would be. A bit scary, though. All I needed to do is to watch a few videos on you tube where other ladies show how to get everything ready for injection and then how to do it correctly. I did in my belly. As far as I understood, this very medication can be done into belly and into bottom. For me it was easier to do it into my belly. Moreover, I had an aching place in my bottom for a few days after Dipherelin injection and it was probably the worst complication of this injection. For a few days, it was even painful for me to sit for a long time. I’m endlessly proud of myself that I learnt to do injections on my own because I have a lot more days of stimulation ahead and it’s really great not to rely on someone else in this very important process.

I’m feeling well. I mean no weird feelings in my ovaries. Yet. I experience no changes by now apart from my accelerating nervousness. I sleep badly, often wake up in the middle of the night with the feeling I forgot to do something important or vice versa – did something wrong. The less days are left to our departure to Kiev, the more restless I get. To double all these feelings, it was an accident with my son yesterday. To make a long story short, my husband’s brother came to our place and they played with Den. He spinned him around, throw him up and gave him a ride on his back. They adore playing together. Then we all (adults) went to the kitchen to have some tea and Den was in the living room. He jumped on the sofa. He still was very playful and wanted someone to share his joy. Just in around 30 seconds, he run into the kitchen all in tears and screaming: “Mom, it hurts! It hurts!” He showed on his chest. I rolled over his shirt and I saw that the upper part of his belly was red. And he was crying out loud. He didn’t stop crying even when we tried to draw his attention with cartoons. No, it didn’t help. The stupidest thing was that no one even noticed what happened. I saw him on the sofa. It’s soft with lots of pillows, no rigid elements at all. We also didn’t hear any peculiar sounds of a fall. I didn’t know why he was crying, really. And this was the most terrifying thing about that all. Finally, we decided to drive him to the hospital to make sure that there was no serious injury. He was still crying however he started looking on the passing by cars and we guessed what brand the cars were and he almost forgot of his pain. When we entered the doctor’s room he wasn’t crying anymore. However, we were still stressed out. The doctors examined him, did x-ray and ultrasound, also took his blood. Hopefully, everything was fine. The doctor told that it even doesn’t look like an injury. He said maybe allergy or irritation. I then asked why he was crying out loud because of irritation? Really? In any case, they let us go home. It was already late night and Den’s eyes were merely closing. He went to bed. In the morning, his belly still looked reddish but this time we could see very tiny micro scratched just under his lower ribs. Ok, it seems that he just scratched his belly on something. He said he fell on a pillow and a pillow has a zipper. Probably, he scratched on that zipper. I don’t know. The main thing is that everything’s ok. And it seems that Den also has an ability to over exaggerate his pain (obviously). It was just a scratch, but he was crying so badly that I thought someone is killing him. Oh, a crazy evening, after all.

Sorry for sharing this all here. In any case, if you already have children, you understand how it feels. If you still don’t – now you know how it may feel. Parenting a kid is not only cuddling in bed on Sunday morning, it’s also the ability to drive to the hospital in 5 minutes (given that usually it takes not less than 15 minutes to drive there). In any case, it was an extra reason for me to get a few new grey hairs. This is what real parenting is. Especially with boys: they are so restless and always on a move. And even if your house seems 100% baby safe, he would still find a place to injure himself.

We’re departing to Kiev tomorrow evening. It’s not a direct flight, so it will take us almost 6 hours to get to Kiev airport. Then it’s also around 40 minutes’ drive from the airport to city center. I know they will provide us with a driver. We’ll be there late at night so I hope we’ll get to our hotel with no traffic jams. Yes, Kiev is a busy city with lots of cars, so traffic jams are a common thing there. Not at night, I hope.

I’ve told them that we’re travelling with our son so asked them to provide us with two bed-room apartment. I hope they will. Let it be small but still separate. The hotel we stayed in the last time seemed to be too small and rooms are tiny, so I hope this time they will provide us with apartment or better hotel room, at least.  

I’ll keep posting when any updates.

Have a great week!

Got the clinic’s feedback on results of my tests

Good morning everyone (or whatever part of the day you are enjoying at your place). I know I promised you to drop a line when I get some updates as to my current stimulation procedure but I was so busy celebrating that I didn’t have time to  get to my lap top at all. A year older now and it seems every person I know was there to congratulate me on this occasion. Of course, I tried not to show that I’m not too much “overwhelmed” with getting older. They all were so sincere. They told me so warm wishes and took care of presents. It was the sweetest part of all the celebration. The party was also great. My sister and her family came to our place for the whole weekend. She helped us with cooking and serving. My husband decorated the house with multicolored balloons and it looked really nice. 

My parents also came to our place. It takes them around an hour to get here by car, so it’s not so often we see each other, unfortunately. Thus, it was our family reunion. Children also had much fun together. It’s great that despite being a single child (currently), my son Den has 4 cousins of more or less similar age. When they gather together, it’s like a little “gang”.

Ok, let’s get back to the topic. I wanted to update you with my news even back on Friday. I got am email from my fertility clinic’s manager on Friday afternoon. It told that they looked through my tests and give their green light for starting hormonal treatment. Everything is within norm with my scans. Hormonal levels show that the day of testing was the first day of my menstrual period. My doctor told to make the first injection of Merional on the 10^th day of the period that is November 19. In 5 days, on November 23 I should be already in Kiev. My doctor will do ultrasound to see if everything’s fine. They told that since that day and up to the day of eggs retrieval I should stay in Kiev. By now, I have a total of 11 days of hormonal stimulation but they may add more days if follicles don’t grow the way they should. That’s why I should be there in Kiev. They will monitor the situation on their own and will correct my stimulation scenario if needed.

Of course, I’m very happy that my results were good and that I’m starting stimulation with no delays. As I’ve communicated with ladies on forums, many of them complained that Dipherelin injection may give impetus to myoma growth in ovary/ovaries. Thus, they need to postpone stimulation and treat myoma. Generally speaking, no one knows how your body reacts on these medications. In any case, I’m so glad they confirmed good results.

So, my first injection of Merional is scheduled for Saturday. I hope that my mother-in-law helps me again with injections but I’m not sure. This time I need her help each day by the time we depart to Kiev. By the way, we already booked our flights. We will travel all together, I mean all our family of three: my husband, me and our dear son. The minimal time we’ll need to spend there is 8 days (maybe more if they will have to continue stimulation). I hope that they will provide us with comfortable apartment especially knowing that we’re traveling with our son. In any case, medical aspect is still above everything else.

Loads of love on you on this wonderful Monday morning and please have a gorgeous week everyone!

Do you know how it feels?

It’s the seventh day after Dipherelin injection. It seems I’m feeling quite well. I’ve read some clutchy stories of how women feel after this medication: from dizziness to severe cramps and vomiting. As a newbie, I was really scared of it. Moreover, the doze is quite high (I had 3.75). I used to have headache, though. Apart of that, the place where I had injection to also used to ache for around two or three days (sorry for intimate details, but it’s in the bottom). I also felt some drawing pain in my right ovary but it was very occasional and not severe. I hope that my body’s reaction can be called good reaction, after all. Most women say that their period starts in a few days after the injection. Most women indicate their new period with menstrual bleeding. In my case, it’s a bit more complicated. I can’t have bleeding. If you remember my first posting, I had hysterectomy after my first baby was born. It was almost 4 years ago. It was partial hysterectomy: they removed uterus, but my ovaries were left (hopefully). Since then my menstruation is never accompanied with bleeding. But still I have it. I know it might sound a bit weird, but it’s just about elementary anatomy: no uterus, no endometrium, no bleeding. Still I have periods more or less similar to what a normal lady my age has. Despite of the surgery, my ovaries function ok and still produce all female hormones needed for my normal existing. However, just after the surgery and up to 3 months I had to take hormonal medicines together with a lot of other medications needed for my rehab. Since then my period day can be indicated only with the help of blood tests. However, I often feel ovulation and PMS even without tests. Hormones are still striking my brain and I still can be a real scratch-cat a couple of days prior to new cycle. I know it might be hard to figure out how it all works after such a serious surgery. Believe me: I used to feel I’m no longer a woman after hysterectomy. I used to think that I will gain weight, shave my moustache and never ever have any pleasure from sexual intercourse. My rehabilitation period was tough, mostly psychologically. My two dearest men were the ones who didn’t let me sink in depression. My son and husband: the first one always kept me busy and demanded attention and the second one persistently reminded me that he still loves me, and even more than before. He thanked me for the son. He told it almost every day. He loves him immensely. He told that we will overcome all troubles together. I got used to my new condition. Still there was at least one advantage of that all: no regular bleeding. Hey, answer ladies: have you ever dreamt of it? At least once? Not to have menstrual bleeding. Never. Have you? Frankly speaking, I had. I used to have heavy and painful menstruation since high school. And yes, there were times when my inner voice told me: “I hate this all. I wish I never experience it again!”. My “dream” came true. However, in my 16 I hardly ever thought that no menstruation means no babies. This idea never came to my teen’s head. I still can’t understand why women are called “the weaker sex”. We experience these pains ever since our 13, then survive all 9 months of pregnancy with all that morning sickness, then 20+ kg weight gain, then painful delivery and rehab period, topped with all the difficulties of lactation. How can they call us “the weaker sex”? It puzzles me.

Brief note - the process started

I think I will keep it short today and with some good news. I got an email from my Biotexcom manager who supervises our surrogacy program. Our doctor considered my last ultrasound and confirmed on stimulation. Everything within the protocol they signed back then when we traveled there for the first time in summer. We start with Dipherelin. If I’m not mistaken, this means that we’re in long protocol (they also have a short protocol). I don’t know how they determine what type of protocol is best but I hope they know what they are doing. As I’ve told you already, our doctor there is Elene Mozgovaya MD. They ensured me that she is very skilled and have been working in this clinic for already many years and that her type of treatment usually shows good result. It’s very inspiring. Moreover, I’m happy she’s a woman. I don’t know why, but I don’t like male gynecologists. I know they say that a doctor is a human being without gender, but still. Everyone knows it not true. Moreover, it’s easier for a woman to understand another woman. I think so. And yes, it’s my, very very personal, point of view. Maybe I’m wrong. In any case, I think they don’t even have other male gynecologists there. At least we saw only women.

So my trigger shot of Dipherelin was yesterday. 3.75 one shot doze. Hopefully, my mother-in-law is a nurse and she agreed to do all those injections for me. It saves a lot of time and she is really very good at it. I almost felt nothing.

I was feeling well after injection but for headache. I think it’s due to the weather so I don’t associate it with injection itself. It’s impact on my body is quite profound so I was afraid of profound side effects. It’s the second day after injection and I’m feeling well. I hope this sets a good beginning to this big deal.

Have to close by now. My biscuit-tea break is coming to an end. My son is still sleeping but I want to have a fresh banana-cream dessert cooked for him when he wakes up. He likes banana. Ok, have to go.

I wish you a very warm weekend with your nearest and dearest. xxx

Looking forward to fussy weekend and very important Monday scan

It’s all the fuss about Halloween. Frankly speaking, I’m not a great fan of big holidays. Really. Some of my friends think I’m kind of weird in this thing. Everyone gets crazy about any single reason to celebrate and gather together with friends. I also like family and friends reunions, though. For me, they are not necessarily associated with any particular holidays. Do I need a reason to visit a friend of mine? No. Does she need a reason to call on me? No. Despite of having very positive intention, holidays still get this all stressed out. In any case, Halloween is approaching and we were invited to our best friends place to celebrate. She has three children: 10, 8 and 3 years old. Actually, her younger son is the best friend to my Den. My friend whose name is Astrid likes to cook and she cooks a lot. My role in this “universe chaos” celebration is in decorating the house and entertaining kids. Some of the games are known to us from the previous celebrations, some will be new. In any case, I think all that matters for a kid on this fussy day is his most scary costume in the world. Last year Den was in this skeleton costume which this year is too short and too tight for him. So we ordered a new one. This time it’s Batman. Ha! He looks rather cute in it, I must admit. We chose it together. Yeah, my kid is growing older and I no longer can take decisions on my own (a bitter sweet feeling).

Another stressful thing about this terrific holiday is “treat”. Yes, the essence of all this carnival. I know everyone will give them candies and I’m a crazy mom up to this point. You see, my son in his 3 years old already has cavities in 4(!) teeth and had one of the cavities stuffed just a month ago. I think his teeth are very bad genetically (from his father) and he is very apt to cavities. I’m crazy about oral hygiene that’s why candies are a forbidden fruit for my little one. On holidays, the situation always gets out of control (another reason why I’m very biased regarding holidays).

Ok, there are times when you just have to yield and let it go. Children love this holiday immensely so let them just enjoy. As for me, I know that I will have quite different thoughts running through my head when everyone will be freaking it out. My ultrasound is scheduled on Monday and it will determine the day of stimulation trigger. And one more thing to tell you: I’m not afraid anymore! I’m so resolute to start like I was never before. I still have no idea of how I will be feeling but I’ve also heard from more experienced ladies in all this assisted reproduction that the medicines on my protocol are safe and usually show great results. I also know that much depends on my attitude to the whole thing happening. That’s why I decided to take emotions under control and send my positive vibes to the universe to attract success to my surrogacy treatment.

Happy Halloween everyone!