Hello my dear friends! I hope you all are feeling well on this wonderful
day. A week has started. We had to wake
up at 5.30 am today because my husband was to set off to Bergen. It’s a
business trip. Well, a long way to go, and he is yet driving. So I’m waiting
for a call from him just to make sure everything’s fine. He often travels all
over the country for his business meetings but each time I’m a bit
nervous. Maybe this is just my female
nature?
We all women are the same. Aren’t we? We always need to worry for
someone/something. And we always will. Nothing changes with years. Modern
social policy tends to gender equality, same rights and duties for men and
women. But we are not the same: never
were and never will be. Finally, men and women were designed to complete each
other. Remember: Women from Venus, Men from Mars? Neither time, nor new laws
will change it.
It seems I’m happy to have a husband who still thinks that women have to
be given flowers and pampered in many different ways. We all still want to be
princesses and to be treated liked a princess, no matter how old we are.
I have a son and we still don’t know the gender of the baby that we are
awaiting through surrogacy. As I’ve told before, we wanted a baby girl. My
husband did. And so do I. I know how it feels to be a mother of a little man,
but yet I so desperately want to be a mother of a little princess as well. And
yes I will dress her in pink and tell her that she is beautiful every single day.
Dozen times per day. Even if people will say that I’m spoiling her. I think
that this is why we, women, all come to this world: to be pampered, spoiled and
know that we’re making this world better with our beauty. And to give birth to
children, of course.
We hope that tomorrow we will know the gender of our long awaited baby.
Tomorrow is the day for our next scan – 16 weeks pregnancy. Our surrogate is
expected to come to Kiev, to the clinic, again. Unfortunately, we couldn’t
travel this time to be present at the checkups personally. Of course, I was
very upset, but now it’s better. I know that they will inform every single
detail of the scan as soon as possible. So tomorrow is a big day and we are
waiting.
I hope the doctor who will be performing ultrasound is professional
enough to see the gender of the baby on the 16th week. Still I know
it may be tough, especially if the baby is “shy”. When I was pregnant with Den,
it was only the 20 weeks scan when we found out it’s a boy.
We will see this time.
Apart from gender question, of course we are waiting for medical report
and second genetic screening. The first one was ok, so we hope that this time
there’ll be no problems as well.
16 weeks – the baby is already big enough. Surrogate may experience
first kicks. They say when it’s not the first pregnancy, woman starts feeling
first kicks much earlier. I’m sure they will ask her.
I’m checking the weather in Ukraine often. It seems they are having nice
warm sunny weather. I hope that our surrogate takes some time for walks and
breathing fresh air. Baby needs oxygen, and well as first rays of spring sun
that nourishes skin with vitamin D. Sure, I’m not in control of all that but I
really hope that our surrogate takes care of herself and our baby very wisely.
Waiting for news from clinic.
I’ll drop a line as soon as I’m informed.
Have a great week, friends!
Xxx
good reading! It seems you want a baby girl. It's the best match - to have an elder son and a younger daughter. I hope they will tell you soon. In any case, health is above anything else. Good luck and keep posting
ReplyDeleteYou know whilst typing this following reply I just cought myself on the thoughts. First – I was extremelly lucky to have found this blog on the internet. Second – I can share experiences with a kind understanding lady like you. Third – I just love reading the blog back versa. Like figuring our notes from the past and comparing them to those of mine. I do feel glad about this!
ReplyDeleteAnd there are so many things similar in our stories! As you remember from my previous posts, I can remember when we very first learned we wouldn’t be able to conceive on our own, I was crushed. I felt so powerless. I felt like a fundamental right had been ripped away from me. I had to grieve the picture of creating our family between the two of us. And I was angry and resistant to the picture that included nurses, doctors, needles, and unanswered questions. We’d been 2 years, several iUis, two surgeries before finally got successful with ivf procedure at a Polish clinic. Our son was 4 yo when we decided to try for a sibling for him. That coming time was an absolute disaster. Our doc found out my eggs became aged so we had less than 5% of conceiving with them. Furthermore I got heart complications due to previous disease. That’s why Dr wasn’t excited about the testing results and told I’d better not risk with achieving pregnancy myself. Knowing that we were one step from surrogacy brought no actual relief in fact. One thing we knew for sure we had to look onto more affordable prices comparing to those in the US. This way soon we found ourselves on several surrogacy boards where larned much about surrogacy in Europe. Biotexcom was one of the clinics strongly recommended by some ladies with successful outcomes. So that one only call changed the situation entirely for better. They found a perfect surrogate match for us within months. Which is extremelly time wise as I’ve read before people spend years before actual start of the process. She is very young, 21 yo only. Having a kid on her own which was quite surprising for us unless we didn’t know this was one of the clinic’s requirements for the surrogates/donors. Besides we had to use donor egg, you know. So we had another kind lady willing to help us. We all had to go through so many things trying for a sibling. So just love your title ‘women are from Venus, men from Mars’ Is absolutely lovely!!
Thank you for sharing your story. We've signed the contract for ivf shots with Ukrainian biotexcom clinic. This time trying to use own eggs, though my amh level is quite low. Our Dr says it's worth trying. I hope I'll start injectibles in a day or two. I'm 40. They found no issues for my infertility except low amh level and my being fat( Dh's swimmers are just perfect. I don't know what to expect from this shot as the procedure is completely new and challenging for us. I struggle with constant ups and downs and mood swings. We hope for better, but started also looking onto other options in case of failure. This is a rollercoaster. People around getting prego in a cough and others struggle for a baby through long years. I'm working hard to loose my extra kilos, some yoga and healthy eating I was not really used to earlier. We both take supplements to enrich our bodies with vitamins. We try to put our minds in peace though sometimes it's too hard. And waiting for the miracle.
DeleteI hope you're successfully listed on the ''new parents'' now. I wonder whether you have a boy or a girl. Also whether you keep in touch with your surrogate. We became very close with our surrogate. She's in her 3rd trimester now. So soon this journey will end up, but I truly think we got bond forever. We're so thankful for that she's done for us. Waiting forward to the great date!!
ReplyDeleteOur boy showed himself at 12 weeks scan. Not at once, our dr had to look for the right angle. He as trying to hide. From the first moment I saw him I fell in love with him forever. I felt blessed after all the tricky way we had to pass, I did feel blessed with my tiny sweet boy. My only wonder. My hugest achievement. My greatest success.
ReplyDeleteThis was when I first thought of how much afforts it took us to see him!! IUI #1 Sep'15 - BFN, I ended up with large cysts then. IUI #2 Dec'15 - cancelled. IUI #3 Dec'16 - another BFN. Further moving onto IVF. Round#1 - BFN, severe endo fallowing. IVF #2 – ended up with ectopic. They had to remove my left tube. IVF#3 – miscarried 9 wks. Mc caused some further complications. I remember dr told we had to look for sb to carry the baby for us..Sometimes it feels like it happened not to us but sb else. Now when we're parenting our sweet son after surrogacy at Biotexcom all the nightmare seems so far away..
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DeleteCongratulations! I'm still on the other side of the fence. My ex partner and I TTC for 14 months without success. He has a kid from a previous marriage. He refused to see a Dr and we finally broke up over it. That left me 38, single and desperate for a baby. Now I'm 41 yo. Together with dh we decided we want a baby. It was high time to begin looking at ivf treatments. Tests showed nothing but a low amh (10.7). So apart from being old (41), and fat (!) there's no explanation. I'm finally due to start injections as soon as my period starts. It's due in a day but I've got no sign. Most eagerly anticipated period ever! I'm so over waiting. It's taken 11 months from seeing my GP to get to this point. And now I feel like my period will never start. I'm a little beside myself. I'm guessing it's not a great sign that I'm freaking before I even start.. Those needles are longer than I expected. I also know this is a long journey so I'm keen to hear from any experienced ivf-ers with any tips, tricks or advice on how to cope. Especially how you cope with waiting?
DeleteWe're also far away from home, which makes things even harder, I mean emotional side. Furthermore family doesn't support our choice in favor of a Ukrainian clinic to be in, but I hope they are mistaken..
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ReplyDeleteI read this post which was a hearty one as all the previous ones. And realized this is going to be the last here on this blog which I've already started to miss. Afterall, I'm so pleased we're currently satying at BioTexCom, undergoing surrogacy plan there. The clinic's staff is knowledgeable in all aspects of fertility treatment and background medical information. This helps to know that they fully understand the stress and sadness associated with fertility problems. Particularly when the treatment is received outside of the home country. I always have the opportunity to discuss our hopes, fears and practicalities involved. I can definitely call their reputation in this field as warm, caring, and professional. They absolutely meet our the needs and we're hoping for the best results with them.
ReplyDeleteRead this somewhere on the internet. Would really love to hear some of the thoughts on it. ~Epigenetic information is transmitted through cell division. Therefore, it is directly inherited from the biological mother. On the other hand, it’s been proven that most epigenetic marks from the father’s chromosomes are removed when sperm is created. It is also true that some epigenetic information can be modified. In this sense, there is evidence that the metabolism of the pregnant woman can influence the epigenetics of the unborn child. Diet is one of these factors. Experts also suggest that epigenetic changes may influence certain behavioral patterns of the baby-to-be!! So they say it's possible to some extent for the surrogate to influence the epigenetic information of the child.
DeleteI'd everyone recommend going to Ukraine for surrogacy. There are too many good reasons for this. Surrogate mothers in Ukraine have no rights on the child. Speaking metaphorically, this service is equal to the lease. As a rule, parent of the child is indicated by the biological father who provided the sperm. That's why for the program of surrogate motherhood in Ukraine can go only married couples. And for the same reason Ukraine does not cooperate with homosexual couples. Mother will be registered as a parent if her egg been used instead of donors. I thought this piece of info might be helpful.
ReplyDeleteList of documents for the the registry office: A statement of the spouses parents. A birth certificate. A notarized statement of agreement of a surrogate mother to record the spouses parents of the baby. Information about the genetic relationship of the child's father. Parent’s passports. Parent’s marriage certificate. Register office is not allowed to ask for: The contract between the genetic parents and the surrogate mother (it’s a confidential document). Surrogate mother’s presence while child registration. Appeals to the guardianship.
So here we go, ones of those seeking the miracles overseas.
Babydust to all on their ways.
Obtaining of the brith certificate for the baby takes up to 1 week. So in order to obtain the birth certificate you will need to have your marriage certificate apostilled in the country that issued that marriage certificate. For countries that are not participants of the Hague Convention, abolishing the Requirement of Legalisation for Foreign Public Documents (Apostille convention) – the marriage certificate should be legalised. Apostille is not the same as legalisation. You may click the following link in order to check if your country is the participant of the Hague Convention https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apostille_Convention
DeleteIf the name on your marriage certificate differs in any way from the name on your passport (e.g. there is a middle name on one or not the other, or surnames differ) – you need to obtain an official intermediate document confirming your identity. Failure to provide such document may cause your process delay. Your program coordinator will advise you with all such issues.
In order to obtain the birth certificate both intended parents need to be present in the country.
The birth certificate will be submitted for apostillation, translation and notarisation
Just want this out of me. My dearest friend is about 18 weeks pregnant and she seems to have stopped talking to me. She lives abroad. So we usually keep in constant contact via WhatsApp. We spoke about 2 weeks ago when I was at a real low point and we chatted. I had been signed off work as I had a meltdown with stress and anxiety. so I wasn’t in a good place. Anyway we ended the conversation with her saying ‘we can chat properly when you’re feeling better’ which sort of upset me. as it felt like she doesn’t want to talk to me when I’m down. Well since then I’ve returned to work and I’ve not had one text saying ''hope you’re ok'' or ''have you returned to work?''
ReplyDeleteMy mom says ''well you haven’t contacted her''. But I just feel she should be showing she at least cares when she knows how unusual it is for me to have been off work.
I have also heard from other friends that she’s been really sick in pregnancy etc. I just feel so sad that because I’m going through infertility and she’s pregnant our friendship seems to be breaking down. It’s just rubbish. Is it me that’s wrong here?! I'm really sad..
Oh God love you, poor thing..I understand your concerns. But I'm afraid not those ladies who haven't been nearly to infertility issues.. This is my personal point of view, so don't judge anyway. We did IVF it failed. We couldn’t afford it, but we did it again. My younger sibling started families. I was an aunty over and over again. I again was fake happy and would cry myself to sleep all the time. I avoided the annoying rude family who would ask me constantly why we don’t have kids yet (I still kinda hate them).The end was near, we had one frozen embryo left. I was convinced we just needed to get it over with and move on with our lives..Not sure what that meant at the time. But I had convinced myself it was just over and we needed to transfer that last embryo and decide what we would do next. Maybe sell the stupid big house with empty bedrooms and move to a condo in the city. I didn’t know what we would do next, really..It took us years unless we finally headed off to Ukrainian Biotexcom clinic and found our luck there.
DeleteI've never experienced pregnancy myself. We've just started our ivf round for a baby. But still I know some facts from my sister's pregnancy. So she's eaten healthy prepregnancy and worked out 3-4 times a week. She was having tacos, pizza, burgers, hot dogs, etc. and felt exhausted as well. Doing my research, I have heard that it is normal during the first trimester. She does try to drink water and squeeze a fruit in once a day. Something is better than nothing. Hopefully 2nd trimester, she could exercise and pick up some energy with healthy habits. I wonder how it might be for us..
DeleteHi, hun, your post makes me sad. This is double hard struggle with no supportive shoulder you can lean upon. Even hard to imagine. My dh has always been a rock of support for me. Though he knew the issue was completely in me – he never let my self blaming off. I’m so thankful to him.
DeleteI believe this is not right for your husband to reject possible issues. This game is for both. Maybe he just needs more time to accept you need med help to conceive. Wish you all the best of luck!
@HopingSoMuch, Symptoms may greatly vary. Among mine were the lower back pain. No appetite, mild cramps, gassy, diarrhea, mild nausea, episodes of heartburn, bloated. 6dp5dt, the day I took the 1st home cheapie and got bfp. I woke up very early and had diarrhea. Had lower back pain and slight cramps in the AM but disappeared during the day. These are so much individual.
DeleteHey katty mile! I’m so sorry you’ve been having such a tough time. I hope a break from work was helpful and that you’re feeling a bit stronger.. Unfortunately I have experienced a few friendship breakdowns. Sort of similar to yours. I have felt very hurt and let down by some friends. I am trying to reframe my thinking a bit. I know that all friendships change over the years. I have decided that some friendships are “on pause” so to say. And hopefully things will come back. Or that we will be able to start another new friendship chapter in the future. Communication is the key!! So maybe you and her will be able to muddle through this tricky situation. But I don’t think you should feel like you have to keep checking on her. Try and focus on the friends who are more supportive to you!! Put you and your partner first!! All my positive thoughts going your way.
ReplyDeleteThis can also be about the marriage issues arising in the flow of fertility treatments. My husband and I have been TTC for about 5 years. I was diagnosed with PCOS & Endometriosis and had been regulary seeing an RE. I was on my third round of Femara and didn't seem to be responding. I developed a 4 cm ovarian cyst which I had aspirated. My husband had to come with me as I was put under anesthesia and was not able to drive. When we got to the office, he was upset that he would have to wait three hours while they prepped me for the procedure and monitored my vitals afterward. He hardly said a word to me and slept in the chair next to me until after the procedure. This is not the first time he had acted this way. He frequently seemed frustrated when I talked to him about appointments, results, etc. so I tried not to. But this threw me over the edge. I was a little nervous about the procedure and I expected him to support and comfort me. I was pretty upset and confronted him last night. I told him that it doesn't seem like he wanted a baby and that I wish he would be more supportive. He said of course he wanted a baby and apologized for the way he acted but said he just wasn't a morning person. It made me worried that he wouldn't support me if I did become pregnant and if we did have a baby. After a couple of months we broke up. Then started a new relationship, but the issues in me seemed never end. Infertility took the hugest part of my life..
DeleteThank you. It means a lot to hear it’s not just me! Being off work did help. Work is very stressful so my brain just felt overloaded with the infertility stuff and work combined! I think I needed to hit rock bottom to climb up again. You are right about friends. Right now I don’t feel I want to talk to friends who are not understanding. It’s very hurtful though as this is one of my oldest and closest friends. I’m shocked she has just completely stopped talking to me! And expecting me to reach out to her! It is possible for us to talk and her not constantly go on about pregnancy and sickness I’m sure which I think is why she is avoiding me. There are other topics!
ReplyDeleteThank you again for your kind response.
Surely, there's always another topic! All of my pregnant friends wanted me for their gatherings 'cause we'd been close from childhood. Hardly could they imagine how hard for me it was to see their beautiful bellies! I couldn't understand why it was me? At the same time blaming myself I was selfish to think so! So all they were going to have kids soon. Not me. And this drove me mad. Unless Biotexcom team placed sweet twins once in our hands. This turned our life upside down! The most charming time ever!
DeleteThe advantages of Biotexcom we've recently successfully used ourselves:
ReplyDeleteChoice. The possibility to choose the donor by the photo and getting the basic characteristics.
Honesty - No hidden payments.
Partial payment - No need to pay the whole amount of money at once. The payment is divided into several rates.
Correct solution. Well screened donors and surrogate mothers have carefully considered their decision to be a part of the program.
100% result Unlimited number of attempts without losing money!
Help with any questions Assistance with financial arrangements.
Professionals. The fertility specialists of the highest qualifications. Each specialist has 15 and more years of experience.
Business knowledge. Registered nurses on staff, enabling to effectively identify excellent candidate for donation and surrogacy programs.
All legally. Full legal support without any additional payments.
Result. Success rate is about 70%.
Transportation services. Transportation arrangements, including airport pick-up, transportation to/from the clinic/ hospital/ civil department/ embassy.
Quality of the material. They work only with fresh biological material. That is why the chances to succeed are higher.
An experience. More than 20 years of experience in the sphere of reproductive medicine.
Large database. More than 600 donors– and growing!
Psychological health. Donors are informed of the confidential nature of the arrangements with the recipients.
Surrogacy is banned almost everywhere in Europe. Egg donation is allowed only in a few countries but quite often these programs offer not very favorable conditions (for patients, as well as for donors). In Ukraine, however, all these programs are absolutely legal. That’s why Europeans seek for medical help outside of their home countries. For most citizens of Germany, France, Italy, Spain, England and other countries, Ukraine has become the place of the legal surrogacy and egg donation. BioTex also offer cost-effective treatments. The repro center prides itself on integrity. They are dedicated to providing a transparent process! The costs are usually divided into several installemnts. Once contacted them one is sure to see how their plans differ from what other centers in the area offer.
DeleteSometimes the key is just realizing that we need to give ourselves a break. It’s easy to think that infertility is someone’s fault. People usually blame us even now. Mom in law called me 'defective' or sth behind my back. I pretended I never heared this but it broke all my spirits. Carrying that guilt around is stressful. So the last thing you need during such a harried time is more stress. Go easy on yourself and indulge in some of the finer things in life together. Eat takeout. Cook elaborate meals. See friends. Go out for a wine. Lounge around watching movies or reading. Trust me, all brave worriors, you’ll thank yourself later.
ReplyDeleteWe've successfully been through all this. We're currently nursing our beautiful twins. A boy and a girl. I can hardly imagine our life if not this miracle.
You are a very strong woman. I know being diagnosed infertile must have been really difficult. However, you dealt with things bravely. I am sure you will be able to conceive. However, if things do get a bit difficult then I would suggest not to lose hope. Assisted conceptions are being used by a lot of people. Technology has drastically improved so I am sure there is nothing to worry about. However, for the process, my advice to you would be to ensure that the clinic you visit is operating at a high live birth rate. Sending baby dust your way.
DeleteI’m sorry IP face this every now and then as fertility treatments are never the bed of roses and we all expect to be well understood, supported and helped by experts. And it’s really irritating when our plans fail. We passed 2 unsuccessful rounds ivf with oe in the UK. Our doc thought it would be the best option for us. And probably it would be if not oe used. They turned out to be aged and useless. This was the case with no quality and no quantity unfortunately. But we were suggested to give those shots…Who knows. Maybe this is not the doc’s or clinic’s fault. We all know treatments are often not so successful as they are expected. But for me we had lack of communication with the clinic. For me this is the worst when being passed from hands to hands among the docs, who actually cannot make head or tail on what’s going on…Such was my opinion, but dh said they were ok. I’m not sure why he thought so. Probably this is because male and female take the case differently. Well, the point is that we switched the clinics and soon found ourselves in Ukraine. That time using ivf with donor egg, though got also well informed about surrogacy there. The option itself and the clinic’s programs seem the best balanced due to money sums and services offered.
DeleteFor everyone facing unsuccessful ttc!! Guys, do get tested!! The earlier, the better! Your doctor will review your medical histories. He'll talk about any conditions you have that might affect your fertility. This might be thyroid disease, endometriosis and lupus etc. If you have high blood pressure or epilepsy, for example, you should wait until you 'have control of the disease before pregnancy! Bring in a list of any medications you are currently on. 'cause your doctor might need to change your prescription and monitor your health more closely. Depending on your family’s medical history, your doctor may want to test to see if you and your partner are carriers for such genetic conditions as sickle cell disease or cystic fibrosis. It’s also a good idea to make sure your vaccinations are up to date. Your doctor can test your rubella immunity to see whether you need a booster shot. If you contract rubella during pregnancy it can cause serious complications for the fetus. And doctors strongly advise women who are planning a pregnancy to get the flu shot as it can lead to serious complications, such as pneumonia and preterm labour. If this seems like an awful lot to worry about, talk over any concerns with your doctor. There is so much doctors can offer to try to help you get as healthy as you can be!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this word of care and support. It's vital to get the problem nailed the sooner the better.
DeleteLadies may have a general physical exam, including a regular gynecological exam. Specific fertility tests may include: A blood test which measures hormone levels to determine whether you're ovulating. Hysterosalpingography which evaluates the condition of your uterus and fallopian tubes. It also looks for blockages or other problems. Ovarian reserve testing helps determine the quality and quantity of the eggs available for ovulation. This approach often begins with hormone testing early in the menstrual cycle. Other hormone tests check levels of ovulatory hormones. As well as pituitary hormones that control reproductive processes. Pelvic ultrasound looks for uterine or fallopian tube disease.
Men may have a general physical exam and some specific fertility tests including: Semen analysis. dr may ask for one or more semen specimens. A lab analyzes semen specimen. In some cases, sperm may be tested for in the urine. He may have a blood test to determine the level of testosterone and other male hormones. Genetic testing may be done to determine whether there's a genetic defect causing infertility. In select cases, a testicular biopsy may be performed to identify abnormalities contributing to infertility. and to retrieve sperm to use with assisted reproductive techniques, such as IVF. In rare cases, other tests to evaluate the quality of the sperm may be performed, such as evaluating a semen specimen for DNA abnormalities.
This is definitely the game for both.
Now when we've finally got our sweet DS I know for sure - Being diagnosed as infertile isn’t an endpoint in your pursuit to expand your family. And it doesn’t mean that you have a zero percent chance of conceiving! Identifying any problems and getting the help of ART to overcome barriers like blocked fallopian tubes and poor sperm motility can greatly improve your chances. Up to 90 percent of the time, simple treatments, such as medication, are sufficient. For others though it takes a bit more and longer. We had issues in both. Dh and me failed a lot the nature meant for us. We went through lots of IVF shots at our previous clinic. We found nursing staff lovely. Our embrolgist was lovely too. But some of doctors were rude. They made it very clear that it was just business to them!! We absolutely understand things are done for money. But to be actually told about this..so frustrating! We were going for a follow up appointment after another failed ivf (Ended with mc). So it pained so much not to have the needed support during the process. When we attended our appointment we asked loads of questions. But got sth like 'Do you want to open up a can of worms or do you want to start treatment again?' as the answer. with no tests done or anything they were willing if we were for us to have another round right there and then!! We just thought wow it has just confirmed what we thought about this clinic and the treatment and when seeing doctors minus one who was very helpful we felt rushed and as though they could not be bothered. Though the waiting list is short we'd never recommend that clinic to someone else. We thought we'd look elsewhere and get the proper support and treatment people going through this horrible journey deserve! Switched soon. Found ourselves at Biotex, considering and then actually opting for surrogacy plan. It resulted in our sweet DS.
ReplyDeleteI'm 32 but was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve at 30. We did 6 iuis (the first was successful but ended in miscarriage at 11 weeks) and then went straight to ivf using donor eggs. Im now almost 8 weeks pregnant with twins! Using donor eggs was an easy decision for us. We pay 100% out of pocket and knew we could only afford to do one full cycle. An egg donor gave us the best chance of pregnancy and getting enough embryos to freeze so we could have more children without the expense of more retrievals. We have 7 embryos waiting for us when we are ready. I know we wouldn't have gotten as many embryos we were to use my eggs. I was also worried about egg quality and recurrent miscarriage with my own eggs. I view donor eggs as a huge blessing. It's given us the possibility of growing our family like we always dreamed.
DeleteI am in the same boat. I did 2 rounds of IVF, 3 eggs retrieved, only 1 fertilized, transferred day 3, didn't work. Second round only 1 egg retrieved, and didn't last overnight. I just moved on to donor eggs b/c where I live it's all cash, nothing covered, and donor gave us higher chance of success. I get my beta results Thursday. The idea of donor eggs at first was very foreign to me but the more I started thinking about it I felt better about it. If you can physically, emotionally, and financially keep going with IVF, that's one way to do it, perhaps get a second opinion. I think odds are not in your favor that this will work but there are lots of success stories for people that beat the odds.
DeleteOh that's nice, haha. Your baby tends to be spontenuous. What a new! Well we'd also want to know our baby's sex beforehand. We'll see..The most amazing fact of all is that some little beans do show they're ladies/boys, but then turn out to be vice versa..Oops.
ReplyDeleteIn most cases, gestational surrogacy allows one or both parents to be biologically related to their child. Surrogacy gives hopeful parents the opportunity to raise a child from birth. Intended parents are involved throughout the pregnancy experience and are generally able to be present for many key milestones, from the 12 week scan to their baby’s birth. Surrogacy gives intended parents the opportunity to know and form a special bond with their surrogate. Intended parents may face fewer restrictions with surrogacy than with adoption; those who cannot adopt due to agency restrictions on factors like age can still pursue surrogacy.
ReplyDeleteSo I’ve been on here for just a while. reading other posts but am struggling to find one similar to mine and I’m sure they must be out there. Talking to a friend the other day she suggested if I shared I would hopefully read more people happy to share. I’ve always wanted to be a mum - not a doctor, nurse, teacher, space woman or anything else. A mum was it for me. I had a relationship in my late 20’s that ended and in my early 30’s I decided that if nothing came along soon I’d go it alone - I asked questions online etc but then at 33 I met a lovely man, we wanted the same things and off we went. There were unfortunately cracks begin to show after about 18months when I was ready to move in and he wasn’t but also on our different values and because of my biological clock and the cracks continuing things came to a head and we separated. I’d already began searching about sorry donors, iui, ivf etc etc.
ReplyDeleteI obviously had worries - doing it on my own, money, sanity.. And then met my dh..I don't know why he'd been this long not appearing in my life. But since then everything changed – we got itno it together. I've never felt this sort of satisfaction someone loves and cares..I'm happy to read your journey ended successfully. Am hoping to experience the same outcome. Just cannot live childless any more.
Sailing in the infertility boat for years brings no joy. I've been in this myself for long years. Still waiting for the very moment I could post the same - me/my surrogate is pregnant! I'm praying for this every other day. Seems God does not listen to me. But I'm stubborn) Well, this is going to be our last 5th round IVF. Dh and I both decided this gonna be just last shot IVF - If it fails we won't stick to it any more..We feel like we've exhausted this plan well. I have no reasons to feel like this #5 is gonna be failure..All I know is that I've got pretty fed up with stims. My body rejects them. And I reject everything concerning pills, injectibles..I'm just so tired of all these..Maybe that's why it looks like I'm not gonna work out this cycle either..What makes me glad is that it's 5 shot package, so we aren't paying any extra fees.
ReplyDeleteWell, our next step to be is surrogacy. I retend it to be undergone somewhere abroad. Somewhere like Ukraine, I guess. because I've already read a lot of positive reviews from posters on different infertility boards. People come there from all over the world lol, I know it's not, but Ukraine seems to be the surrogacy mecca for thousands of the infertile..Well, law there is great. Your baby is YOURS from the moment of conception. You don't have to go to the court. You just have to prove through DNA test your dh is your baby's father. PDG can be used for sex determination - Seems this is not common for the majority of countries where the procedure is not banned at all. To me it's very important, as all women from my family are the carriers of a rare genetic disease. And it's stransferred from a woman to woman. It has zero effect on men. That's why it's preferably PDG for sex determination for us. I think I've studies well all the information from the BioTex official web site. Also this awesome blog - surrogacybiotexcom.blogspot.com which is full of useful information. We've already contacted a lot of people who've been through treatments with them. The majority of the reviews are positive. This gives us hope!! Happy to read you got luck with them too.
There are so many positive stories out there and you are bound to be a positive statistic. Keep faith and all will work out- I feel it in my heart of hearts!! I am happy that things worked out for people as others need inspiring and happy endings like yours. As for me, here is a bit about what i am facing:
ReplyDelete37 and have been married for 4 years. I was diagnosed with Turners around 20 years old and thank goodness I am not too severely affected. I am quite short. A bit plump but at least not overly fat/obese. And only have a very slight hearing issue. Other than this I like to think I am very intelligent and rather normal looking if there is even such a thing. When diagnosed, I am sad to admit, my mother must have felt some degree of shock and the need to protect me, withdrawing me from discussions on the topic entirely. She took complete control. She insisted on finding out everything from the doctors herself and taling to them by herself, without me present. Thus, neither my mom, nor the doctor ever fully or properly explained the repercussions of such a diagnosis to me. Unfortunately it was too late for growth hormones. So i just received estrogen and progesterone. Years later i read a scary article about it contributing to breast cancer and stopped treatment...As i was young and not in any relationship, and not having got counselling (i believe that is something that should have occurred had i not allowed myself to be shut out of the discussions with the doctors). So I was not too concerned about pregnancy just yet or monthly cramps and bleeding... until now.
Suddenly i find myself 37 years old, approaching 38. With my two best friends both pregnant at the same time with baby#2. I want to start a family with my husband, and I am not proud to admit i find myself fighting a serious case of envy over what i cannot have. I wonder what i did to deserve this diagnosis that now begins to feel like punishment. What did i do wrong?
Of course my husband is supportive, but, not being in my shoes. Being a man, he can’t fully understand my case as a female. Of course i know this is not true as true strength and family is much more than that. So i am just keeping myself as positive as possible. My problem is a combination: financial and emotional...Continuing in my further post..
...That's said, I would love to undergo IVF and have the ability to carry my own child, with a donated egg from a donor, inseminated by dh. However i don't just have cash like that lying around. I am also terrified of the complications that can arise with my heart as i am bicuspid. I am thinking of seriously looking into surrogacy, leading to my emotional problem: The impact on me seeing her carry my man's child. and then the bond the surrogate would have with the child...if any.. It would feel like taking the child from its mother.. So where does the 'her child' end and 'my child' begin? it can get tricky to do this with family but i feel strongly that the child should at least have as much of my genetics as possible. shared genes is better than nothing. So there are many things to consider and two very different directions that i am being pulled in. I would prefer the surrogacy for logical reasons, but cannot only think of my own wants and needs...I know some people would recommend that I ask my husband what he would prefer. I have done just that. However his only answer is that he needs to think about it, which is not overly helpful. all he ever says for the last 11 months is that he must think about it. This worries me as i don't think it's that difficult to decide if you want a family with your life partner and best friend. I want to be patient but I can’t shake the feeling that he is put off by the fact that it wouldn’t be my own biological child, and this naturally makes me feel very insecure. So I have taken this journey of research by myself, looking for advise in any way, shape or form as to try to decide which option to go for -IVF vs Surrogacy. What should i do? Thank you so much for allowing me a safe space where i could pen my thoughts on this. Hope to hear from you soon. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHi there. We were also in a difficult situation. Our daddy was trying to earn all money in the world. As for me, I simply wanted to do my job via Internet. With the newborn in a house everything changes fundamentally. Sleepless nights make you really tired and embarrassed. They can play a bad trick on you both. So, in order to find a right solution we addressed to more experienced parents (they brought up triplets!). This is what they recommended. Parents have to establish a bedtime routine. Nursing or giving a bottle or singing a lullaby must be done at the same time every night. It tells your baby it’s time to sleep. Put your baby to bed sleepy, but still awake, to learn to associate falling asleep with being in bed. You shouldn’t jump at the first noise. Wait a minute to see if your baby settles back down before picking him up. If you need to feed or change your baby in the middle of the night use a dim nightlight. Try to speak softly. A child will know it isn’t playtime.
ReplyDeleteSending you all positive vibes. Here’s my fertility history. I’m 43 yo. Have ‘always’ had fibroids in the uterus. Although fibroids were once removed they did grow back. (This is just a possible thing). Later GP told me that pregnancy was life-threatening for me. I can’t find the words to describe how I felt then. Yet further investigations showed I had aged eggs of extremelly poor quality. That’s why our only route was donor egg surrogacy. Whenever I thought about it I felt a wave of nausea and cry. The thought of seeing a child that is half my husband and half another women made me feel physically ill. I wanted to have a baby with my husband. And I wanted to be a mom!! But I failed as we needed a surrogate and donor’s egg, for his and someone else’s child. I gave myself time. We travelled, talked to others sailing in the same boat, were looking for a suitable place. Finally moved to Ukraine, currently waiting for our surrogate’s official test. Wish all us good luck.
ReplyDeleteWhen becoming a new mom it does get exciting every other day. Our son is an OE IVF kid. I’m glad we’d been lucky to have the genetic relation saved. Our next time was not such a luck. Probably you’ve already read from my previous posts. Our dr told us 2 dreadful things which I thought would drive me crazy. #1 – my eggs were old, their quantity & quality was extremelly low so that he gave us less than 5% chance of conceiving with them. #2 – my heart was not working properly to carry pegnancy at mid & late term. This was the way straight to surrogacy. Well what comes to one’s mind hearing ‘You need someone to carry your baby for you’..For many couples around the world, surrogacy represents a SECOND chance at starting a family. It is a very private thing. It was frankly the only way for my husband and I (Have been together for nearly 15 years) could have the second child that was half him. (Unfortunately not half me.) So, for us, it was absolutely the way to go. Though it took time to get there. It was a difficult decision and my heart goes out to every woman out there who’s dealing with any infertility issues and wants to have a baby and can’t figure out how to do it. But I like to say there’s lots of ways to being a mother … There are many paths to having a family (the 3rd trimester)…
ReplyDeleteI know how ivf path may feel. And this is so nice we get our beautiful kids after things suffered. This is some of my background. A successful architect of 40 yrs old with no kids ever decided it was high time to put the carrer off and start ttc. If only I knew then it’d take us long years to conceive with our first! I knew age was not going to work on our side. Adding changes to general health and so on, I never expected this would be ME, not having kids! Never! How heartbroken I felt and how miserable I couldn’t give a baby to my sweet dh! Every woman struggling knows this feeling I’m sure. I know you too. When feeling a complete wreck because you cannot fulfill the only purpose meant by nature for you…It’s tough always. Soon after doing more investigations I was diagnosed on pcos and blocked fallopian tubes. Our previous doc felt right about using those 3,2 amh point for ivf. Which I really doubted myself, dh not. We gave 2 shots with oe a try, but failed. We didn’t know the ropes of the ivf procedure then, so fully trusted to docs. But I always felt sth wrong with the way I was treated, cannot explain why. But I felt like I was passed from hands to hands anomg docs and nurses. Everyone wanted to help but we had to explain again and again the same things which was quite irritating. So finally we switched the clinics for biotexcom where were said it was time to use donor eggs for ivf. We agreed and after 2 shots conceived with a beautiful healthy bean. We’re currently passing another de ivf round with the same place. Using another donor this time due to the program. They guarantee at least 3 healthy A grade embies for the ET. I’m getting prepared for the ET in a couple of days. Feeling nervous and excited at the same time.
ReplyDeleteHello. As you said a honest opinion I will give you mine. I believe in second chances but definitely not the third. I think you should contact her as she has been very poorly because of pregnancy. I am not saying you are not priority (because you are) but if you are in a better place then you could text her and you could say... not heard from you, how are you doing? see her reaction maybe she has more to tell. but if this continues and it feels like your the only one maintaining contact then concentrate on yourself and them who are there for you, it maybe she is busy in her pregnancy so let her be as you are in a different place and your emotional wellbeing needs to be good. much love x
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome Biotexcom became this very popular throughout the world. But we all need to have just adequate expectations from treatments. For how much you’re paying, it feels like IVF should result in a guaranteed pregnancy! But that’s definitely not the case! Even under the best circumstances, IVF pregnancy rates hover around 50 to 60 percent per embryo transfer. It’s difficult to understand why, if the egg and sperm are being put together, a pregnancy won’t take though. While that’s fascinating, it also makes it difficult to fully understand what’s happening and being done to your body. The dance that doctors do to time the egg retrieval and embryo transfer. and the fine line they walk with the doses of drugs they prescribe is truly mind-boggling. We all try to comprehend all of the nuances and facets of the treatment. But usually find ourselves getting lost in the weeds of information (Instead of trusting clinical team and focusing on our own health!) Once I let go and became more comfortable with trusting the experts, the more relaxed about the procedure I became. Feels like you've been surrounded with people who take all your needs at heart. They know what to say and how to support whilst this emotional roller coaster. Everyone seeks the place which meets his requirements. We were also lucky enough to find ours.
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