Everyone knows and everyone cares

The last several months were as if not from my life: sometimes it seemed to me that I’ll wake up one day and find out that it was just a dream. At times, it was scary, at times it was incredibly tough, at times I felt as if I’m helpless and losing every little hint of hope.

However, things turned out to be maybe even better than we initially expected. Yes, yes, it’s a bit tough for me to confess but we didn’t expect that our surrogate will get pregnant from the very first attempt. Just imagine: our first IVF ever. I know that so many people keep trying again and again and nothing works so I was very afraid of failure. I know this is not right. After all, hope and positive approach is above everything else, but having heard some stories of recurrent unsuccessful IVFs we just didn’t want to be disappointed at once. And please don’t throw stones at me. It was a tough time both for me and for all of my family: tiring flights to Kiev, waiting, first hormonal stimulation with dozens of painful injections, painful surgery of eggs retrieval and then waiting again. Getting our positive beta test from Biotexcom clinic was really the sweetest and the most expectant present we could ever get for Christmas. Ok, and then waiting again (let’s not forget about this most essential part of our surrogacy journey). They said that normally they do first ultrasound two weeks after beta test but in our case it was several days earlier (am I that lucky again?). They say everything’s fine and they will keep monitoring our surrogate mother and her pregnancy.

Of course, it’s too soon to say “done” because the first trimester of pregnancy is so fragile. I know it from my personal experience: when I was pregnant with Den I was hospitalized with slight bleeding. It was on the 9^th week of pregnancy. They said I was running through a big risk of placental abruption and thus losing pregnancy. Hopefully, we called the doctor at once and they did everything possible to save pregnancy. So I know very well how it feels and what it really is.

That’s why I keep thinking about that woman whom I still don’t know but who carries my baby. She definitely has her own child/children because this is their requirement for intended surrogate mothers. So I hope she cares well of herself and my baby as much as she cared about her own pregnancy.

Loads of love on all of you!

TWW

I bet you can’t even imagine what I feel now. Or maybe you can. Still it’s an absolutely new feeling for me – our two week wait started. You know, I’ve never imagine how thrilling it is when you go through IVF route. In my case, surrogacy. Now I know that I can’t just go to a shop and buy a few home pregnancy tests in case I won’t be able to wait anymore. No, I can’t. 14 days and maybe even more: it depends on how soon they will get blood test result and email it to me. Our surrogate mother will come to the clinic for beta HcG test only on the 19^th of December. Ok, it seems I’m running ahead of the story. I missed some major information and skipped to what is the most essential to me.

Our embryo transfer was on Monday. Two 5-days blastocysts were transferred to surrogate’s uterus. They advised to transfer 3 embryos but we didn’t agree. They say it increases the chances for positive outcome. Maybe. But what if all three stick? It’s risky for pregnancy and for surrogate’s health, and even if all three are delivered safely – what will I do with 4 children? So, we agreed on transferring two. Two more were frozen. They will be used in case of failure (but I hope it won’t be). They emailed me an embryo report. There was information about eggs collected, their quality, fertilization method, number of days for cultivating, number of embryos received, and their quality. All embryos are of perfect quality as far as I understood. It was a bit hard to understand the report but finally we did it. It’s my first IVF report ever so I was a bit lost.

Of course, I’m very happy that everything goes well by now. I hope that lady realizes her mission and takes care of herself and of our future babies. I never thought that surrogacy is so tough emotionally: you understand that you’re in control of nothing. Yes, these are your embryos but inside of the woman you have never ever met. Who she is? How does she look like? Is she smart and intelligent enough? Where does she live and what is her daily routine? Will she take care of herself? Will she choose good food and omit smokey places and lifting weights like you would do if you were pregnant? Surrogacy is magic combined with immense thrill and uncertainty. Sure, it’s a magic for us to hope for our flesh and blood baby after such serious surgery that leaves no chance for natural pregnancy. In the meantime, she is there miles away and we are here. The closest time we can meet is only in around 10 weeks (if it works, of course). In Biotexcom, they don’t allow seeing surrogates until the 12^th week of pregnancy. I was wondering why and I asked our manager. She said that even if the result is positive, the first trimester of pregnancy is considered very fragile. Especially in case of twins. They said that making connection with surrogate too early may be additional stress for us and for her in case something goes wrong. I’m sure you understand what I mean. Maybe they are right. Maybe they are too strict. We discussed it with Martin. He said that this might make sense. They assured us that surrogate mother will be very thoroughly monitored by their doctors and regional representatives. We know that she lives in a small town far from Kiev so she will have to travel to Kiev once a month for tests, checkups, ultrasound and screenings. Her nearest test is Hcg, of course. That’s the pivotal moment through the recent 4 months. We’re keeping everything possible crossed and asking babies to stick. Den also knows what’s going on. Probably, he has his own vision of situation but he knows that he was traveling to Kiev for his little brother or sister. He wants a sister so much. Of course, he doesn’t know any details (hopefully, he haven’t asked yet). I know that one day I will have to explain everything to him but not now. In any case, I’m sure he will understand.

To sum up, I invite you to join our two week wait club! Maybe, you’re also waiting, maybe not. In any case, if you read this long post till these words, you’re interested in my journey and I invite you to join this very exciting world. Waiting is unbearable. If I didn’t have a child who always keeps me busy, it seems I’d go crazy through these long two weeks. In any case, we’re all charged positively and are waiting to get their good news soon. Are you with us? 

Packing our luggage

It’s the third day of hormonal stimulation with Merional. I wanted to drop a line earlier but the weekend was such a fuss. My first Merional injection was on Saturday and congratulate me: I did it myself. It was very stressful, I must admit. But there was no one there to help me so this was my only option. You know, in reality it’s even easier than I thought it would be. A bit scary, though. All I needed to do is to watch a few videos on you tube where other ladies show how to get everything ready for injection and then how to do it correctly. I did in my belly. As far as I understood, this very medication can be done into belly and into bottom. For me it was easier to do it into my belly. Moreover, I had an aching place in my bottom for a few days after Dipherelin injection and it was probably the worst complication of this injection. For a few days, it was even painful for me to sit for a long time. I’m endlessly proud of myself that I learnt to do injections on my own because I have a lot more days of stimulation ahead and it’s really great not to rely on someone else in this very important process.

I’m feeling well. I mean no weird feelings in my ovaries. Yet. I experience no changes by now apart from my accelerating nervousness. I sleep badly, often wake up in the middle of the night with the feeling I forgot to do something important or vice versa – did something wrong. The less days are left to our departure to Kiev, the more restless I get. To double all these feelings, it was an accident with my son yesterday. To make a long story short, my husband’s brother came to our place and they played with Den. He spinned him around, throw him up and gave him a ride on his back. They adore playing together. Then we all (adults) went to the kitchen to have some tea and Den was in the living room. He jumped on the sofa. He still was very playful and wanted someone to share his joy. Just in around 30 seconds, he run into the kitchen all in tears and screaming: “Mom, it hurts! It hurts!” He showed on his chest. I rolled over his shirt and I saw that the upper part of his belly was red. And he was crying out loud. He didn’t stop crying even when we tried to draw his attention with cartoons. No, it didn’t help. The stupidest thing was that no one even noticed what happened. I saw him on the sofa. It’s soft with lots of pillows, no rigid elements at all. We also didn’t hear any peculiar sounds of a fall. I didn’t know why he was crying, really. And this was the most terrifying thing about that all. Finally, we decided to drive him to the hospital to make sure that there was no serious injury. He was still crying however he started looking on the passing by cars and we guessed what brand the cars were and he almost forgot of his pain. When we entered the doctor’s room he wasn’t crying anymore. However, we were still stressed out. The doctors examined him, did x-ray and ultrasound, also took his blood. Hopefully, everything was fine. The doctor told that it even doesn’t look like an injury. He said maybe allergy or irritation. I then asked why he was crying out loud because of irritation? Really? In any case, they let us go home. It was already late night and Den’s eyes were merely closing. He went to bed. In the morning, his belly still looked reddish but this time we could see very tiny micro scratched just under his lower ribs. Ok, it seems that he just scratched his belly on something. He said he fell on a pillow and a pillow has a zipper. Probably, he scratched on that zipper. I don’t know. The main thing is that everything’s ok. And it seems that Den also has an ability to over exaggerate his pain (obviously). It was just a scratch, but he was crying so badly that I thought someone is killing him. Oh, a crazy evening, after all.

Sorry for sharing this all here. In any case, if you already have children, you understand how it feels. If you still don’t – now you know how it may feel. Parenting a kid is not only cuddling in bed on Sunday morning, it’s also the ability to drive to the hospital in 5 minutes (given that usually it takes not less than 15 minutes to drive there). In any case, it was an extra reason for me to get a few new grey hairs. This is what real parenting is. Especially with boys: they are so restless and always on a move. And even if your house seems 100% baby safe, he would still find a place to injure himself.

We’re departing to Kiev tomorrow evening. It’s not a direct flight, so it will take us almost 6 hours to get to Kiev airport. Then it’s also around 40 minutes’ drive from the airport to city center. I know they will provide us with a driver. We’ll be there late at night so I hope we’ll get to our hotel with no traffic jams. Yes, Kiev is a busy city with lots of cars, so traffic jams are a common thing there. Not at night, I hope.

I’ve told them that we’re travelling with our son so asked them to provide us with two bed-room apartment. I hope they will. Let it be small but still separate. The hotel we stayed in the last time seemed to be too small and rooms are tiny, so I hope this time they will provide us with apartment or better hotel room, at least.  

I’ll keep posting when any updates.

Have a great week!

Got the clinic’s feedback on results of my tests

Good morning everyone (or whatever part of the day you are enjoying at your place). I know I promised you to drop a line when I get some updates as to my current stimulation procedure but I was so busy celebrating that I didn’t have time to  get to my lap top at all. A year older now and it seems every person I know was there to congratulate me on this occasion. Of course, I tried not to show that I’m not too much “overwhelmed” with getting older. They all were so sincere. They told me so warm wishes and took care of presents. It was the sweetest part of all the celebration. The party was also great. My sister and her family came to our place for the whole weekend. She helped us with cooking and serving. My husband decorated the house with multicolored balloons and it looked really nice. 

My parents also came to our place. It takes them around an hour to get here by car, so it’s not so often we see each other, unfortunately. Thus, it was our family reunion. Children also had much fun together. It’s great that despite being a single child (currently), my son Den has 4 cousins of more or less similar age. When they gather together, it’s like a little “gang”.

Ok, let’s get back to the topic. I wanted to update you with my news even back on Friday. I got am email from my fertility clinic’s manager on Friday afternoon. It told that they looked through my tests and give their green light for starting hormonal treatment. Everything is within norm with my scans. Hormonal levels show that the day of testing was the first day of my menstrual period. My doctor told to make the first injection of Merional on the 10^th day of the period that is November 19. In 5 days, on November 23 I should be already in Kiev. My doctor will do ultrasound to see if everything’s fine. They told that since that day and up to the day of eggs retrieval I should stay in Kiev. By now, I have a total of 11 days of hormonal stimulation but they may add more days if follicles don’t grow the way they should. That’s why I should be there in Kiev. They will monitor the situation on their own and will correct my stimulation scenario if needed.

Of course, I’m very happy that my results were good and that I’m starting stimulation with no delays. As I’ve communicated with ladies on forums, many of them complained that Dipherelin injection may give impetus to myoma growth in ovary/ovaries. Thus, they need to postpone stimulation and treat myoma. Generally speaking, no one knows how your body reacts on these medications. In any case, I’m so glad they confirmed good results.

So, my first injection of Merional is scheduled for Saturday. I hope that my mother-in-law helps me again with injections but I’m not sure. This time I need her help each day by the time we depart to Kiev. By the way, we already booked our flights. We will travel all together, I mean all our family of three: my husband, me and our dear son. The minimal time we’ll need to spend there is 8 days (maybe more if they will have to continue stimulation). I hope that they will provide us with comfortable apartment especially knowing that we’re traveling with our son. In any case, medical aspect is still above everything else.

Loads of love on you on this wonderful Monday morning and please have a gorgeous week everyone!

One year older

Hi, it’s my birthday today! Don’t think that I’m asking for congratulations, but this is just how my day started: a handmade postcard from my boy, coffee in bed from by man and blood test results and scans in my laptop. Nothing special. Just an ordinary beginning of a day! Joking! Just all in one: you know, I have a bunch of feelings starting from anxiety and immense thrill to this very warm feeling of comfort and hope when your two dearest men care about you on your especial day. That’s awesome. This combination of feelings paints my day in richer colors even since the early morning. 

Honestly, I’m not a big fan of my birthdays. This feeling got even more vivid when I passed over 30 years margin. It’s like: “Ok, let’s celebrate! I’m getting older! Congratulations!”. In fact, I know that these are the thoughts of a worn out crone so I keep them locked in my mind and no one will ever hear them (may be but for reading as exception?). Sorry for grumbling.

We gonna have a small family celebration this night and large party with friends and relatives tomorrow evening. My husband is cooking dinner today, he said. He hardly ever cooks but there are a few recipes he perfectly mastered. So he gives me some breaks from cooking, usually on our special occasions like today. It’s especially important for me now when I seem to be dissolved in preparation to my upcoming medical procedures.

So I got the tests and ultrasound done. I have already sent them to my clinic’s manager and wait for their feedback. I should start ovulation induction medications soon. As I’ve told you in my previous posting, it’s hard for me to determine the day of my menstrual cycle because I have no regular bleedings. To know the exact day of the cycle, they take my blood for hormonal tests: luteinizing and follicle-stimulating hormones. On forums, you will encounter just abbreviations LH and FSH respectively. Knowing their levels, they can tell precisely the day of my period. Also progesterone, estrogene and anti-mullerian hormone once again (this one stands for AMH). The last time they checked it when I applied for surrogacy program back in July. It was 3,2 back then. They said it’s good result. This time it was 2,8. It’s obviously a bit worse but they say still ok. As far as I understood, the value depends on the day of the period and on some other factors. In any case, I’m sure I will get all the blood tests again when I travel to Kiev for eggs retrieval. There they will also take additional tests such as coagulogram (how quick my blood coagulates), and hormones again. In fact, I will need to come to Kiev several days before the surgery for them to monitor my state, the way the follicles grow, choose the best time for surgery, and of course in order to omit hyperstimulation (which is another terrifying word for me in this assisted reproduction vocabulary). It’s a very dangerous complication of stimulation (or this is just specific side effect or individual body reaction on medications). Ok, I’m not a master of explaining intricate medical terms, but I know that it’s probably the worst thing that may accompany hormonal stimulation for follicles. You know, when I saw my protocol of stimulation first, it was hard to evaluate it for me. I mean to give my own estimation as to how long it is and if they prescribe too little medications or vice versa a lot of them. Now when I got to read so many articles, blogs and communicated on forums with ladies who have/had similar treatment, I realize that I don’t have much medications. I have only one gonadotropin called Merional (intramuscular injections), Metipred (tablets), and vitamins (folic acid and Vitamin E). I know they may still add certain medications when they get my recent tests. Still I’m a bit concerned of having only one gonadotropin prescribed. Will it be enough to induce superovulation in me? To get many eggs of good quality? I know these question shouldn’t come to my mind since I have a doctor to care about all those aspects, but still – I’m a woman and when it deals with my future offspring I have to be maximally aware of the situation. I hope they know what they are doing.

Have a great day and loads of love on you!

I’ll drop a line as soon as I get updates.

Brief note - the process started

I think I will keep it short today and with some good news. I got an email from my Biotexcom manager who supervises our surrogacy program. Our doctor considered my last ultrasound and confirmed on stimulation. Everything within the protocol they signed back then when we traveled there for the first time in summer. We start with Dipherelin. If I’m not mistaken, this means that we’re in long protocol (they also have a short protocol). I don’t know how they determine what type of protocol is best but I hope they know what they are doing. As I’ve told you already, our doctor there is Elene Mozgovaya MD. They ensured me that she is very skilled and have been working in this clinic for already many years and that her type of treatment usually shows good result. It’s very inspiring. Moreover, I’m happy she’s a woman. I don’t know why, but I don’t like male gynecologists. I know they say that a doctor is a human being without gender, but still. Everyone knows it not true. Moreover, it’s easier for a woman to understand another woman. I think so. And yes, it’s my, very very personal, point of view. Maybe I’m wrong. In any case, I think they don’t even have other male gynecologists there. At least we saw only women.

So my trigger shot of Dipherelin was yesterday. 3.75 one shot doze. Hopefully, my mother-in-law is a nurse and she agreed to do all those injections for me. It saves a lot of time and she is really very good at it. I almost felt nothing.

I was feeling well after injection but for headache. I think it’s due to the weather so I don’t associate it with injection itself. It’s impact on my body is quite profound so I was afraid of profound side effects. It’s the second day after injection and I’m feeling well. I hope this sets a good beginning to this big deal.

Have to close by now. My biscuit-tea break is coming to an end. My son is still sleeping but I want to have a fresh banana-cream dessert cooked for him when he wakes up. He likes banana. Ok, have to go.

I wish you a very warm weekend with your nearest and dearest. xxx

Waiting for the green light for stimulation

All the fuss around Halloween is left behind so I can take a moment and drop a line. Our party was quite fun… for children. They were the ones who really enjoyed the holiday. The costumes were all different and they looked really cute/scary in them. And yes, they gathered a lot of candies and sweets, and for my little one – it was a problem for me to explain that he can take only 1 candy per day. I think that stock will be enough for half a year for him. Other mothers were more liberate to their kids, I mean in respect of sweets, so Den felt a bit embarrassed because of it. In any case, they had a lot of fun. Daddy of one of the girls on the holiday dressed in this terrifying ghost costume and frightened the kids. They liked it, hopefully no one were scared, even the youngest on our party. They were rather to laugh loud and run away from the ghost. What else kids need?

Next day I had to visit my gynecologist. She checked me and made ultrasound. Everything seems to be within norm, she said. She said endometrium is 11 mm. I hope it’s okey. I had to send the ultrasound to my manager at Biotexcom. She then shows it to my doctor and she recommends the best day for dipherelin and ovulation stimulation trigger. As I’ve told you before, I have all the medications for stimulation. They gave me this huge pack on the first time we came to Kiev, just after all tests, checkups and signing contract. I hope they won’t change anything in my protocol. In any case, they assured me that even if I need any extra medications for stimulation, they can send it to me or I by it here in Norway and they give me money back when I travel the next time to Ukraine.

So, I’m waiting for their feedback and still keep learning more about the medications I was prescribed. As far as I understood, my protocol is more or less “mild” if it’s admissible to say so. I’ve communicated with ladies on the forums who have much more stimulation medications on their protocol. I don’t know if it’s good or bad. I know they need to have more than two eggs appropriate for fertilization after stimulation. I don’t know if with my mild scheme they will get as much as needed. From the other hand, there’s a scary word for me “hyperstimulation” and I hope that I won’t be running the risk of it. As far as I understood, the most important thing here is eggs retrieval procedure: it must be performed on the indicated date and time, otherwise there might be problems. I hope everything will be ok with time schedule. I don’t have worries about it.

You know, when we decided to go to Ukraine for our surrogacy procedure, I was a little bit afraid that they might have problems with medical equipment and sterility. You know, I knew not so much about this country before we travelled. Of course, I knew that it’s closer to Europe than for example Georgia or India and therehow it should be quite “European type”. From the other hand, I also knew that a few decades ago it used to be a Soviet country, thus leaving its imprint on the further destiny of this country. To tell you the truth, when we booked our air tickets, I didn’t know what to expect. In any case, I had good vibes. And they didn’t let me down. I didn’t see any dirty gloves of a nurse, or outdated equipment, you know – everything old and dirty. In reality, all the clinics we visited in Kiev looked very modern, both in exterior and interior. All equipment is new. Everyone who comes into the clinic puts boot covers on – everything is absolutely clean. All medical stuff wears very neat uniform with badges indicating their names. Nurses and doctors wear one shot sterile gloves. Taking samples of blood wasn’t painful at all. To sum up, the level of medical service is high and my suspicions as to non-sterility vanished. Finally, the clinic we signed up contract with deals exclusively with foreigners, mainly westerns, so they try to keep up with high requirements of their clients. I was surprised that they have managers speaking so many foreign languages from English to Chinese and Korean. What I didn’t like, though, is that managers at Biotexcom seem to be always in a hurry, always in fuss, because they have to consult several couples per day. I think the management of the clinic should think about expanding their manager’s stuff. In any case, they keep me updated via emails and I don’t experience any lack of communication by now.

So, I shall get their response soon and trigger my stimulation. They told that they already have a surrogate mother for us but we still know nothing about her. By the way, if you choose Ukraine for your surrogacy destination like we did, be ready that they don’t allow choosing surrogate there. You can meet her only after the 12^th weeks of pregnancy. Since it’s gestational surrogacy, surrogate mother won’t have any genetic relation to the baby. She just needs to be healthy and be compatible to your blood type. Also, you won’t be able to keep in touch with your surrogate directly, only with the help of manager who is in the meantime your translator. All surrogates are Ukrainian nationals, age between 18 and 39, have at least one healthy child of their own. They ensured us that they have very strict restrictions as to surrogate’s health. They also go through psychological checks ups. Of course, I’m interested to know who she is and how she looks like, but maybe they are right that this is not the most essential thing about our surrogacy process. If you will be opting donor eggs surrogacy, here the situation is absolutely different: you may choose your donor (sure, finally you choose who your baby will take after). Still I haven’t learn the process of choosing a donor very thoroughly because we’re opting on our own first. They gave us two attempts. If they won’t work, they will have to move to donor eggs. I hope sooo much that at least one of my two attempts will work.

Ok, I’ll close by now. As soon as I get any news from them, I’ll drop a line.

Have a very good day.

Xxx

Looking forward to fussy weekend and very important Monday scan

It’s all the fuss about Halloween. Frankly speaking, I’m not a great fan of big holidays. Really. Some of my friends think I’m kind of weird in this thing. Everyone gets crazy about any single reason to celebrate and gather together with friends. I also like family and friends reunions, though. For me, they are not necessarily associated with any particular holidays. Do I need a reason to visit a friend of mine? No. Does she need a reason to call on me? No. Despite of having very positive intention, holidays still get this all stressed out. In any case, Halloween is approaching and we were invited to our best friends place to celebrate. She has three children: 10, 8 and 3 years old. Actually, her younger son is the best friend to my Den. My friend whose name is Astrid likes to cook and she cooks a lot. My role in this “universe chaos” celebration is in decorating the house and entertaining kids. Some of the games are known to us from the previous celebrations, some will be new. In any case, I think all that matters for a kid on this fussy day is his most scary costume in the world. Last year Den was in this skeleton costume which this year is too short and too tight for him. So we ordered a new one. This time it’s Batman. Ha! He looks rather cute in it, I must admit. We chose it together. Yeah, my kid is growing older and I no longer can take decisions on my own (a bitter sweet feeling).

Another stressful thing about this terrific holiday is “treat”. Yes, the essence of all this carnival. I know everyone will give them candies and I’m a crazy mom up to this point. You see, my son in his 3 years old already has cavities in 4(!) teeth and had one of the cavities stuffed just a month ago. I think his teeth are very bad genetically (from his father) and he is very apt to cavities. I’m crazy about oral hygiene that’s why candies are a forbidden fruit for my little one. On holidays, the situation always gets out of control (another reason why I’m very biased regarding holidays).

Ok, there are times when you just have to yield and let it go. Children love this holiday immensely so let them just enjoy. As for me, I know that I will have quite different thoughts running through my head when everyone will be freaking it out. My ultrasound is scheduled on Monday and it will determine the day of stimulation trigger. And one more thing to tell you: I’m not afraid anymore! I’m so resolute to start like I was never before. I still have no idea of how I will be feeling but I’ve also heard from more experienced ladies in all this assisted reproduction that the medicines on my protocol are safe and usually show great results. I also know that much depends on my attitude to the whole thing happening. That’s why I decided to take emotions under control and send my positive vibes to the universe to attract success to my surrogacy treatment.

Happy Halloween everyone! 

Signing up contracts: costs, guarantees, number of attempts, payments and service included.

It’s 12^th day of my period and I’m starting stimulation this month. Hurray! Yeap, we’ve been matched with a surrogate mother (I still know absolutely nothing of who she is) and they synchronize our cycles. I have to do ultrasound in 6 days to ensure everything’s fine and I can start stimulation. It’s a long protocol starting from Dipherelin 3.75, one shot.  

Now I know it’s a high doze and I’m a bit afraid of side effects and how I will be feeling. From the other hand, I know that our doctor Elena is one of the leading specialists there in Biotexcom so I hope she knows what she is doing.

Surely, I’ll keep you updated on how we proceed, and now as I promised I’d like to tell you of how we finally made a choice, probably one of the most important choices in our whole life. These two days in Kiev were very busy but in the meantime very informative. It was not easy for us to make a choice, I must admit. All clinics we visited seemed quite good, modern and providing high level of service. Now the most crucial question was price and guarantees. Yes, guarantees. For newbies like me the category of “guarantee” sounded quite strange for a start. What guarantees do they mean? Ok, let me explain. It seemed that we were the only couple there who was opting surrogacy and knows nothing of what IVF is. Couple/women contacting fertility center for surrogacy usually have a background of a row of unsuccessful treatments: IUI (intra-uterine insemination), IVFs, donor egg IVFs, and even surrogacy attempts. With all those failures, they wasted time and money. That’s why guarantee of having a baby is so important to them. You know, we met a very kind couple from Denmark there in the clinic. They had 6 unsuccessful attempts of ivfs (both donor and own eggs) and trying to conceive for almost 10 years. I felt really sorry for them. I can’t even imagine how painful it might be. Now they switched to surrogacy. They told me that they had signed with this clinic mainly because they provide unlimited number of attempts for fixed price. In this particular case – donor eggs surrogacy. The same is provided by our contract. The only difference is that I give my own eggs. I go through hormonal stimulation. They can’t stimulate me endlessly. Thus, in case it won’t work from the first two attempts, they will have to shift for donor eggs. They told us that if we desperately want it to be our eggs with no shift to donor eggs, we’d better choose single attempt surrogacy program. It costs less but no guarantees, as you understand. Just one shot. Like a Russian roulette. Of course, I desperately want my future baby to be genetically connected to me. But losing money and flying away with big fat negative was also not a great prospective for us. We signed up for unlimited number of attempts: two attempts on my own with further transfer to donor eggs. Still hope so-so-so MUCH that our two attempts will work. I will do everything possible and impossible for this.

They offered us to choose between three contracts. The cheapest one is Economy package, cost 29 900 euro. Then comes Standard package – 39 900, and VIP package 49 900. All three are “all-inclusive” and provide guaranteed success. All legal and medical expenses are covered in each package, as well surrogate mother and egg donor fees (in case of egg donation). In economy package, you will have to cover all expenses in case of premature birth. Also, if pregnancy due to certain conditions stops after the 12^th week (very unlikely, still may happen), you pay compensation to a surrogate mother – 6 k euro. With Standard package, the clinic covers all these expenses (premature birth and pregnancy loss after 12 week). It may sound a bit too complicated to figure this all out, I know. We read all those contacts several times and asked dozens of questions before we could finally digest information and take a certain decision. With VIP contract, it’s easier – your contact is ultimately all inclusive: no extra charges, luxurious separate accommodation, business car transfers and personal driver, Ukrainian mobile phone, baby sitter, pediatrician and even all baby stuff you need. I think this package enables you with much more privilege, however we didn’t consider this package as an option for us mainly because of the price. So obviously I can’t be a very good counselor as to this particular package. I’m sure it’s more than great, but still we were choosing between economy and standard. We finally signed up for the last one. For us, it seemed to be a perfect combination of price and quality. Also, with this contact they provide better and more spacious accommodation which was a very important criteria for us because next times we will be travelling with our 3 (almost 4) year old son and he needs a separate bedroom.

It seems that I forgot to mention that no matter what package you choose, they provide airport pickup, transfers, interpreter service and even meals. I find it rather comfortable. We spoke with those who are already parenting babies there in biotex (waiting for all their papers to be ready for leaving back home which may take a month or two, so be ready). They said that it’s so comfortable: they have a maid who cleans the house and cooks fresh meals so that you can concentrate on your baby with no extra fuss.

Having made the first payment of 8 k euro, we we’ve been waiting for a match with gestational carrier for around 10 weeks. Our next payment (7 900 euro) is scheduled on the day of eggs retrieval. I’m still very overwhelmed, a bit worried about hormonal stimulation (mainly because I’m afraid to do anything wrong) and afraid of eggs retrieval surgery in general. But still I have this very warm feeling deep in my heart that it will work for us. 

PS: the photo attached is our hotel room provided by the clinic we’ve been staying at in Kiev