Please forgive me that it took me so long to update
you this time.
These few days were extremely full of emotions from
immense joy to hesitation and thrill. Have you been waiting to know our HCG
test result? I’m sure you did, at least once.
We received a letter from clinic’s representative on
Monday morning. Finally! It seemed to me that this day lasted forever. I was
checking my email again and again millions of time and nothing happened. By the
time I finally received the letter, I was already pretty tired and exhausted
with waiting. When I finally saw it in my inbox, I stopped breathing for a
while. I opened the letter and saw the words of congratulations and our HCG
test that was showing number of 320. Can you believe it? I couldn’t. At that
time, I was like: “Is there anyone to pinch me and I’ll wake up”.
My husband was still at work at that time. I was
thinking how it’s better to present this new to him. Of course, it would be
much more romantic if I could hide my test with two fat lines in a present box
or something like this. However, the situation is different and I should have
searched for more witty solutions. I was flying like a butterfly over our
house. Then I decided to find Den’s newborn baby booties. We had very beautiful
white ones. I put them on a pillow just in the middle of the sofa where Martin
usually has rest after work. I was very nervous and thrilled. I know he
wouldn’t ask me any questions before he gets to the sofa so I wanted to be the
first.
Ok, he saw the baby booties on the pillow and
understood everything. He started hugging and kissing me and then asked many
questions. It was an unforgettable evening.
At first, I was a little bit worried that number of
320 didn’t seem big enough to me. The test was done on the 14th day
post transfer. Then I read some info and asked ladies on forums. Everyone told
me that it’s absolutely positive and may indicate even twins.
What’s next? We’re waiting for our first ultrasound.
They told that as a rule they do it in 2 weeks after HCG test but they will
have a row of Christmas and New Year holidays there in Ukraine, so they told us
that the ultrasound is scheduled for the 28th of December, a bit
earlier, you see. They told that only ultrasound test will set everything clear
with our pregnancy so we’re waiting… again…and again.
Loads of fertility dust on you, sweethearts!
Xxx
I’m with you. Every option might need more than just one try unfortunately. As we don’ know how our bodies will react to the treatment. We don’t know how comfortable will our embie/s feel with making his home inside us. We even aren’t really sure we are in the right hands with the clinic unless they say ‘you’re/ your surrogate is pregnant’. All possible thoughts coming up to my mind. This is how it felt for me. One minute, I was full of hope. I said, “This cycle will be the one that works! This will be my miracle month!” Then, the next minute, I might see only doom and gloom. “What if this doesn’t work? What if nothing ever works? What if I live the rest of my life lonely and depressed, a shivering mass of jelly relegated to the back corner of my bedroom closet, forever?” Here’s some of my background. I should have written this very post before, but felt great need to ask for a friend first. So here we go. The truth of the matter is, infertility is painful at any stage. Even the very beginning. I can remember when we very first learned we wouldn’t be able to conceive on our own, I was crushed. I felt so powerless. I felt like a fundamental right had been ripped away from me. I had to grieve the picture of creating our family between the two of us. And I was angry and resistant to the picture that included nurses, doctors, needles, and unanswered questions. We’d been 2 years, several iUis, two surgeries before finally got successful with ivf procedure at a Polish clinic. Our son was 4 yo when we decided to try for a sibling for him. That coming time was an absolute disaster. Our doc found out my eggs became aged so we had less than 5% of conceiving with them. Furthermore I got heart complications due to previous disease. That’s why Dr wasn’t excited about the testing results and told I’d better not risk with achieving pregnancy myself. He said it was too dangerous. So we needed tooking onto plan B. Surrogacy. Still having several unanswered questions in, I felt that that beginning experience was every bit as painful as the events that have followed. For us both that moment was a huge challenge to face. I’ll explain here. You see, we already had a kid of our own, seems we had to be satisfied and complete. On the other hand, we wanted more..This made me so jealous with ladies having 2,3 – more kids with no special effort. So the question was coming – Why not me?? Me too! I wanted more BUT we couldn’t apply for the previous option! Surrogacy sounded even more painful to my ear..This meant we needed 2 more women to create OUR baby!!! This was unbearable..I couldn’t imagine my dh involved with other women at all! It took quite long for me to get there..But right now I have nothing to regret about. Our surrogate is heavily prego with our doughter. This is all we’ve been dreaming about. Biotexcom guys are awsome! They managed to do it from the very first attempt which surely a huge luck with infertility treatments. We’ll be always thankful to all of them for the hope they’ve given to us! It’s just priceless!
ReplyDeleteSometimes, IVF is offered as a primary treatment for infertility in women over age 40. IVF can also be done if you have certain health conditions. For example, IVF may be an option if you or your partner has:
DeleteFallopian tube damage or blockage. Fallopian tube damage or blockage makes it difficult for an egg to be fertilized or for an embryo to travel to the uterus.
Ovulation disorders. If ovulation is infrequent or absent, fewer eggs are available for fertilization.
Premature ovarian failure. Premature ovarian failure is the loss of normal ovarian function before age 40. If your ovaries fail, they don't produce normal amounts of the hormone estrogen or have eggs to release regularly.
Endometriosis. Endometriosis occurs when the uterine tissue implants and grows outside of the uterus — often affecting the function of the ovaries, uterus and fallopian tubes.
Uterine fibroids. Fibroids are benign tumors in the wall of the uterus and are common in women in their 30s and 40s. Fibroids can interfere with implantation of the fertilized egg.
Previous tubal sterilization or removal. If you've had tubal ligation — a type of sterilization in which your fallopian tubes are cut or blocked to permanently prevent pregnancy — and want to conceive, IVF may be an alternative to tubal ligation reversal.
Impaired sperm production or function. Below-average sperm concentration, weak movement of sperm (poor mobility), or abnormalities in sperm size and shape can make it difficult for sperm to fertilize an egg. If semen abnormalities are found, your partner might need to see a specialist to determine if there are correctable problems or underlying health concerns.
Unexplained infertility. Unexplained infertility means no cause of infertility has been found despite evaluation for common causes.
A genetic disorder. If you or your partner is at risk of passing on a genetic disorder to your child, you may be candidates for preimplantation genetic diagnosis — a procedure that involves IVF. After the eggs are harvested and fertilized, they're screened for certain genetic problems, although not all genetic problems can be found. Embryos that don't contain identified problems can be transferred to the uterus.
Fertility preservation for cancer or other health conditions. If you're about to start cancer treatment — such as radiation or chemotherapy — that could harm your fertility, IVF for fertility preservation may be an option. Women can have eggs harvested from their ovaries and frozen in an unfertilized state for later use. Or the eggs can be fertilized and frozen as embryos for future use.
Women who don't have a functional uterus or for whom pregnancy poses a serious health risk might choose IVF using another person to carry the pregnancy (gestational carrier). In this case, the woman's eggs are fertilized with sperm, but the resulting embryos are placed in the gestational carrier's uterus.
Specific steps of an in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle carry risks, including:
DeleteMultiple births. IVF increases the risk of multiple births if more than one embryo is implanted in your uterus. A pregnancy with multiple fetuses carries a higher risk of early labor and low birth weight than pregnancy with a single fetus does.
Premature delivery and low birth weight. Research suggests that use of IVF slightly increases the risk that a baby will be born early or with a low birth weight.
Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. Use of injectable fertility drugs, such as human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), to induce ovulation can cause ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, in which your ovaries become swollen and painful.
Signs and symptoms typically last a week and include mild abdominal pain, bloating, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. If you become pregnant, however, your symptoms might last several weeks. Rarely, it's possible to develop a more-severe form of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome that can also cause rapid weight gain and shortness of breath.
Miscarriage. The rate of miscarriage for women who conceive using IVF with fresh embryos is similar to that of women who conceive naturally — about 15 to 25 percent — but the rate increases with maternal age. Use of frozen embryos during IVF, however, may slightly increase the risk of miscarriage.
Egg-retrieval procedure complications. Use of an aspirating needle to collect eggs could possibly cause bleeding, infection or damage to the bowel, bladder or a blood vessel. Risks are also associated with general anesthesia, if used.
Ectopic pregnancy. About 2 to 5 percent of women who use IVF will have an ectopic pregnancy — when the fertilized egg implants outside the uterus, usually in a fallopian tube. The fertilized egg can't survive outside the uterus, and there's no way to continue the pregnancy.
Birth defects. The age of the mother is the primary risk factor in the development of birth defects, no matter how the child is conceived. More research is needed to determine whether babies conceived using IVF might be at increased risk of certain birth defects. Some experts believe that the use of IVF does not increase the risk of having a baby with birth defects.
Ovarian cancer. Although some early studies suggested there may be a link between certain medications used to stimulate egg growth and the development of a specific type of ovarian tumor, more recent studies do not support these findings.
Stress. Use of IVF can be financially, physically and emotionally draining. Support from counselors, family and friends can help you and your partner through the ups and downs of infertility treatment.
Still some other thoughts to share. Surrogacy may be confusing. Some people may not have had the chance to adequately research the surrogacy industry, and may be left with a collection of myths and misunderstandings. This is especially problematic for surrogacy, as there is a lot of conflicting or inaccurate information available online. Depending on who you talk to, surrogacy may be perceived as a noble act in helping another family, or a controversial one with certain legal risks. In reality, they are likely talking about two different types of surrogacy. Traditional – where the surrogate is the genetic mother of the baby. Gestational – where the egg and sperm are provided by the intended parents (or from a donor) and gestated in-vitro. This way surrogate has no genetic link to the child. The latter is the more modern version of surrogacy. It helps to prevent emotional and legal complications during or after the pregnancy. To make matters even more confusing, the legal protections of surrogacy can vary from state to state, from country to country. I found this very matter extremelly difficult to search out. I’m saying all this for the reason IT IS a rough way to pass. Even from the stage you need to get info first on what should be expected. And it is hard as people elsewhere may be not that kind as expected. I’ll share the experienced thing. Once having written the post on the ivf board (at the time we were passing treatement for our son) I got the following reply. It sounded like: ‘hmm..you say they’ll refund you money paid if you fail..so that you moved overseas after only several tries home..I’m not bying this..It’s sh**t..’ I cannot describe what I was feeling then..Heartbroken people aren’t sensitive to infertilte people like us..
ReplyDeleteAny infertility path is a rough way to pass. Starting from communicating with people. The surrogacy process is complex, and not being fully informed about the physical demands may leave you anxious or unclear. Every medical procedure comes with an inherent risk. And the best way to minimize it is to check the requirements and ensure your surrogate is fit and healthy enough.The best way to address ignorance or bias is with extensive research, so make sure you research as much as possible to be fully educated on the matter. No matter your views on surrogacy, there is no denying how far we’ve come for a woman carry another family’s child. As society grows and learns, I’m sure surrogacy will continue to become more accepted.
We were told that after fertilisation the embryo development was going to be monitored by biotexcom embryology unit. The ET always takes place on the 5th day as they are transferring the blastocysts.
ReplyDeleteWe received the protocol of embryo cultivation and transfer seems within 3 working days after the ET. The official 2ww was the hardest ever!! I was feeling I was falling apart..This time I could do nothing but wait. The date of HCG test was a big day for all our family. Our surrogate had this test at biotexcom. We had to wait one more day for the results and that day seemed the longest in the entire life. We got BFP! In 2 weeks after the positive HCG test they carried out the first ultrasound. They sent us the report the same day. We saw our tiny bean successfully inside the surrogate and were speechless for some time. Both, he and me..Me just crying..He was calming me down..That was amazing!!
I thought it might be useful to know. What you can expect during pregnancy monitorying.
ReplyDeleteMonthly ultrasound checks from the 12th week of pregnancy. Reports along with video and/or pictures are more likely to be send the same or the next day. For trisomy screenings. Results sent within 5 working days.
Trisomy 13, 18, 21 – on the 12th week of pregnancy.
Trisomy 18, 21 – on the 16th week of pregnancy.
All you guys, looking for reputable repro centers!
ReplyDeleteThere aren't so many clinics which want to make the IVF treatment a win-win situation. BioTexCom though offers a money back guarantee programmes. You pay for a certain number of cycles and if you do not get pregnant within those cycles, they give you back your money. This is a wonderful option, which could help you preserve your peace of mind. at least as regards the financial aspect. So before starting an IVF cycle make sure that your clinic has such an option!! and ask them whether you qualify for such a programme. Also the field of IVF is highly commercial. You need to protect yourself from being exploited by money-minded and irrational physicians. Your doctor is not always correct and unbiased. So please become well informed about the process before starting it!! Find a good doctor who will have your best interests at heart. If you are constantly diverted from your aim of having a baby by having to do unnecessary tests and treatments, you will get exhausted very soon. It makes going through subsequent IVFs impossible. Being knowledgeable and having realistic expectations about IVF will help you to remain strong, and will keep you going. Be careful not to get fed up before getting pregnant! Look for professionals only!
Stuffing emotions in a box and pretending you are ok is exhausting, and unhealthy. I'm currently doing my best to prepare for the stimulation, so that they could get some perfect eggs from me. Recently began taking ubiquinol. Also about 2 months ago along with other supplements like a hearty prenatal vitamin. Also Omega 3, cod liver oil and light exercise. Ubiquinol has been proven to improve egg quality. 'cause it provides energy to lethargic cells which causes eggs to divide normally. Then implant and produce healthy pregnancies. I take 2 - 200 mg twice a day. I don't know what should I do more, I guess I'm getting overwhelmed..Keeping everything crossed for this cycle!
ReplyDeleteAll the very best to you @andycollins!!
DeleteAt the clinic you will have an ultrasound to evaluate the uterus and ovaries, and once you get the all clear you can start. There are two main parts of this process. Taking medications for about two weeks: Oral fertility medications like Clomid and/or injectable follicle stimulation hormones (Follistim and Gonal-F) are used to stimulate the follicles in your ovaries to mature more eggs than they typically would in a normal cycle. The goal is to produce at least 4 eggs with the use of fertility medication.
Monitoring visits (during the fertility medication phase): Ultrasounds and blood tests are used during this time to keep a close eye on the development of your follicles and eggs. This is the most time-consuming part of the IVF process, requiring an average 5-7 visits.After about 10-12 days of fertility medication, once monitoring shows that your follicles have grown to an appropriate size, it is time to trigger the final maturation of the eggs with hCG and schedule the ultrasound egg retrieval 36 hours later.
Hope everything has worked out for you!!
I've been though several 2ww. The mosts dreaded steps one ever takes!
ReplyDeleteOur last time I was 13dpo and AF was 1 day late. I tested at 11dpo and BFN. I've been having lots of symptoms. Nausea from 11dpo. Tiredness. Muscle aching. Mild cramping. Poking/tugging feeling in uterus at 11dpo. Small amount of yellow/brown CM at 12-13dpo. I was struggling whether to home test or not. And whether it would ever be a good time to test? Or should I save myself the heartache of 'not pregnant' and just wait for AF to arrive? Unfortunately no luck that and all the following times..We're getting into surrogacy, BioTex, our last hope.
Wishing you all the very best of luck!! They report slightly higher rate of genetic defects in children conceived by ivf. However this results primarily from the fact that infertility as a disease in itself is a risk factor. According to the most recent studies, the risk of genetic disorders is the same in the case of infertile couples which have achieved pregnancy naturally as in the case of patients using ivf. The situation is similar in the case of ICSI, for example. A potentially increased risk results from the cause of the problem and not from the technique itself. Here comes the conclusion. It can’t be stated that ivf as a technique increases the risk of genetic defects.
DeleteThe beginning of the process was rather stressing for us both I should admit. as it all was completely new to us! We had our 1st app in March in ** clinic, Kiev. (Dealing with mitochondria donation OR donor eggs along with IVF this time if the former doesn't work). Unfortunately, time is sth which is not under control when it comes to fertilty. It was an unpleasant piece of news for me, for all the family, when our first fertility doc told us I was not going to have a genetically related to me kid. So devastating!!- Seems I'd never felt so broken and miserable before..We've got into all this by no choice. And here are probably some of the tips, which have been helping me so far. The first thing as for the meds I’ve made conclusions on, is never read!! all the scary side effects as most medications have those!! The more you get into it the more it seems you’ll never cope with it ( if there turn to be these and those ones.) Take a deep breath and just do what you’re told. Trust people you’re working with on your aim! A good talk with someone professional about worries/concerns - RE, a nurse, a family doctor, ... whoever really helps!! This is naturally we have a lot of worries, frustration and questions. So I truly believe we need to have someone close by that can help us through every step of this intense journey. Also people on here and on other boards are extremelly helpful. Yet another thing is accupuncture. I used it mainly to calm mind - it might be something to look into too, surely.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, you don't have to have an ET after an ER right immediately! You can freeze them and have a FET. Thus the clinic we're with prefers fresh cycles. ( At least if the case lets it).
Actually we weren’t concerned much on how to survive in Kiev for time needed. Ukraine itself seemed very friendly with its kind people. We never got into any sort of trouble while travelling the country. Moreover while staying there we were trying to get distracted from the process. You know it’s needed to avoid all blues to keep sane. With that very purpose we went exploring with other couples from the villa we stayed at. I find those time priceless!
DeleteI guess this is even more difficult not to know what to struggle with. If there’s dx, you can at least get prepared for the possible outcome. And when you’re simply told ‘you can’t get prego or carry pregnancy’ and ‘we don’t know why’ – it does knock you down. Here and there they give the following tips, like: Do not blame yourself. Concentrate on your future. Work as a team with your partner. Educate yourself. Set limits on how long you are willing to try and decide on what you are willing to pay. Get support from professionals and others with infertility problems to help you through your infertility journey. Feel comfortable avoiding activities which are focused on pregnancy or births (i.e. baby showers). Balance optimism and realism. Take care of yourself by pursuing other interests. But if only using these techniques was that easy!!..
ReplyDeleteSurrogacy helps to keep genetic relation to a couple. But this option seems to be more financially draining than adoption process. Though I may be mistaken. (It depends on what clinic/country surrogacy program is performed). Friends of mine applied for surrogacy in Ukraine 2 years ago. Now they are happy parents of a beautiful girl. Furthermore, they had to use donor eggs for the procedure as my friend’s ones were not likely to work. That’s why their baby is genetically related to the husband only. As far as I remember, they’ve never considered adoption instead. Here I agree this is only a couple’s decision.
ReplyDeleteQuite often it takes more than one shot to succeed with infertility treatments. We were scared of this fact both times. The first when we were just about to start ivf cycle with own egg in Poland. The second time – applying for surrogacy at Biotexcom. Both times we were lucky to be successful from the first attempt. This is awesome! Like God’s blessing us for every tough day we went through.
DeleteWhen becoming a new mom it does get exciting every other day. Our son is an OE IVF kid. I’m glad we’d been lucky to have the genetic relation saved. Our next time was not such a luck. Our dr told us 2 dreadful things which I thought would drive me crazy. #1 – my eggs were old, their quantity & quality was extremelly low so that he gave us less than 5% chance of conceiving with them. #2 – my heart was not working properly to carry pegnancy at mid & late term. This was the way straight to surrogacy. Well what comes to one’s mind hearing ‘You need someone to carry your baby for you’. It is a very private thing. It was frankly the only way for my husband and I (Have been together for nearly 15 years) could have the second child that was half him. (Unfortunately not half me ) So, for us, it was absolutely the way to go. Though it took time to get there. It was a difficult decision and my heart goes out to every woman out there who’s dealing with any infertility issues and wants to have a baby and can’t figure out how to do it. My first thought was ‘How difficult will this be emotionally on me and my spouse?’ So the very first thing we did was reaching out to a professional mental health provider specializing in reproductive psychology. This seemed to be the most challenging process of all..Then I thought ‘Will I be able to trust my carrier?’ This takes a huge leap of faith. So the emotional task for us was to let go of the control of the pregnancy. Yet stay closely involved and allow the carrier to do the best job she can. Another concern ‘What should my relationship be with my surrogate before, during and after surrogacy?’ Now I believe, surrogacy relationships can take many forms. Some parents and surrogates become lifelong friends and even plan joint family vacations years after their journeys are over. Others stay in frequent communication during the process but seek a relationship that is less tight-knit after the birth. Of course either is fine. Parents and surrogates enjoy a variety of types of relationship after the process ends. I guess the specific nature of the relationship is up to everyone’s comfort level. I guess the more you share about your matching preferences during application and consultation phases, the easier it is to match with a good fit. The following one was ‘What if I am upset by something my surrogate is doing?’ Fortunately up to this moment we had no troubles like that (Our surrogate is in the 3rd trimester and is taking care well of both.) Well what should I add here? I think I could speak up on surrogacy all day long as there are too many issues to discuss. I guess one more thing is to be mentioned. Probably one of the biggest concerns. ‘Will my surrogate become emotionally attached and not want to give our baby to us?’ This sounds illiterate for my ear now but not then. Unless you know Ukrainian law doesn’t allow surrogates to keep the babies it does really sound stressful. As there are so many episodes when IP have to struggle for their babies with a surrogate at the court. Thankfully here in Ukraine it’s just out of the question.
ReplyDelete