I bet you can’t
even imagine what I feel now. Or maybe you can. Still it’s an absolutely new
feeling for me – our two week wait started. You know, I’ve never imagine how
thrilling it is when you go through IVF route. In my case, surrogacy. Now I
know that I can’t just go to a shop and buy a few home pregnancy tests in case
I won’t be able to wait anymore. No, I can’t. 14 days and maybe even more: it
depends on how soon they will get blood test result and email it to me. Our
surrogate mother will come to the clinic for beta HcG test only on the 19th
of December. Ok, it seems I’m running ahead of the story. I missed some major
information and skipped to what is the most essential to me.
Our embryo
transfer was on Monday. Two 5-days blastocysts were transferred to surrogate’s
uterus. They advised to transfer 3 embryos but we didn’t agree. They say it
increases the chances for positive outcome. Maybe. But what if all three stick?
It’s risky for pregnancy and for surrogate’s health, and even if all three are
delivered safely – what will I do with 4 children? So, we agreed on transferring
two. Two more were frozen. They will be used in case of failure (but I hope it
won’t be). They emailed me an embryo report. There was information about eggs
collected, their quality, fertilization method, number of days for cultivating,
number of embryos received, and their quality. All embryos are of perfect
quality as far as I understood. It was a bit hard to understand the report but
finally we did it. It’s my first IVF report ever so I was a bit lost.
Of course, I’m
very happy that everything goes well by now. I hope that lady realizes her
mission and takes care of herself and of our future babies. I never thought
that surrogacy is so tough emotionally: you understand that you’re in control
of nothing. Yes, these are your embryos but inside of the woman you have never
ever met. Who she is? How does she look like? Is she smart and intelligent enough?
Where does she live and what is her daily routine? Will she take care of
herself? Will she choose good food and omit smokey places and lifting weights like
you would do if you were pregnant? Surrogacy is magic combined with immense
thrill and uncertainty. Sure, it’s a magic for us to hope for our flesh and blood
baby after such serious surgery that leaves no chance for natural pregnancy. In
the meantime, she is there miles away and we are here. The closest time we can
meet is only in around 10 weeks (if it works, of course). In Biotexcom, they
don’t allow seeing surrogates until the 12th week of pregnancy. I
was wondering why and I asked our manager. She said that even if the result is
positive, the first trimester of pregnancy is considered very fragile. Especially
in case of twins. They said that making connection with surrogate too early may
be additional stress for us and for her in case something goes wrong. I’m sure
you understand what I mean. Maybe they are right. Maybe they are too strict. We
discussed it with Martin. He said that this might make sense. They assured us
that surrogate mother will be very thoroughly monitored by their doctors and
regional representatives. We know that she lives in a small town far from Kiev
so she will have to travel to Kiev once a month for tests, checkups, ultrasound
and screenings. Her nearest test is Hcg, of course. That’s the pivotal moment
through the recent 4 months. We’re keeping everything possible crossed and asking
babies to stick. Den also knows what’s going on. Probably, he has his own
vision of situation but he knows that he was traveling to Kiev for his little
brother or sister. He wants a sister so much. Of course, he doesn’t know any
details (hopefully, he haven’t asked yet). I know that one day I will have to
explain everything to him but not now. In any case, I’m sure he will
understand.
To sum up, I
invite you to join our two week wait club! Maybe, you’re also waiting, maybe
not. In any case, if you read this long post till these words, you’re interested
in my journey and I invite you to join this very exciting world. Waiting is
unbearable. If I didn’t have a child who always keeps me busy, it seems I’d go
crazy through these long two weeks. In any case, we’re all charged positively
and are waiting to get their good news soon. Are you with us?
Hope i'll soon experience 2ww myself. we all are preparing for the ET in a couple of weeks. Dr feels well about me producing healthy enough eggs. They're going to extract some dh's sperms for the fertilization. He doesn't feel at comfort with that, but unfortunately we have no other way out. We haven't seen our surrogate eye-to-eye. Just looked through 3D photos and some profile information. They say we'll meet her when the pregnancy's confirmed.
ReplyDelete2ww of the surrogate's must be a different thing! I'm not sure I can imagine how it works or how will I feel during this time..Nervous, excited,..i do know this will be hard in its own way. The thing which gets on me now is another happy prego announcement from a friend of mine. I know I might seem selfish or sth, but this is how it feels to me now. Deep down I am happy for her, but at the same time my heart is aching. I almost feel angry about it. My heart hurts a pain I’ve never felt before. Am I selfish for feeling that way? I feel like a terrible human being for even feeling like this. Today I’m scared for what we are going to face at the end. Will this put even more of a strain on our marriage? I’m really praying for serenity today..
ReplyDeleteI completely understand the message. I've seen about the 2WW wow it's so long haha.
ReplyDeleteFeels like a rollercoaster. I had ET on Friday which was day 5. they had 2 - 4 cell embies to put back. All seemed to go well and then that evening after I'd fallen asleep I was in a lot of pain. I was bloating, so seeked medical advice. It turned out my body doesn't like the cyclogest so just got to rest and take pain killers. Things seem to be moving more today. Also some more like period pain which I've read seems to happen. Just have no idea what is right and wrong. But my gosh the wait until you get that test result is tedious!
I remember the time I got my first bfp (bab#1 after FET#3). I did a HPT today and a faint pink line showed up within like 20 seconds and then got darker as the 3 minutes went on. Never got as dark as a the control line but there are two lines. My beta was still in a couple of days. I was trying not to get my hopes. I worried about false positive or a chemical pregnancy. I knew there was nothing anybody could say me, just support I guess! We transferred 2 blasts, one was a 4BB and one a 1BA. Our clinic graded higher numbers better (so a 5 or 6 AA would have been the best). I really hoped one of those would stick! So one of those did work and I was beyond thrilled!
ReplyDelete2ww is dreadful!! In every case I should say. And it fairly differs whether you face it yourself after ivf shot. Or you're waiting for your surrogate's results. I believe both moments are hard to go through. Recently I've come around the post. The lady was writing she tested early, seems 5 days after the ET only. and got BFN. She felt devastated and wanted to find some consolation talking to others. And guess what? The majority told her she should never ever do the thing in future! Testing earlier than the official date might be heartbreaking. As the hormones in body are completely a mess. HSG after the trigger shot may influence on the outcome. My dr at Biotexcom explained it may show either positive or negative. and you'll never know whether it's faulse or not. That's why my golden rule is NEVER TEST EARLY! just for one's sake.
ReplyDeleteFor the years of ttc we had simply been tracking my ovulation and hoping for the best. We restarted the process from time to time expecting the best. We were doing another count on us. Right then I was surrounded by friends and family announcing their pregnancies. I couldn't help crying or kicking into a day of depression when I had to be happy and supportive. I felt horrible that their exciting news.. I had some people close to me who were all due soon. With the need to attend all of those showers, I was dreading the upcoming months. This made us seek for professional help. We booked several appointments with different fertility experts. What bothered me is that they had different opinion, leaving us even at more loss..We tried IVF with own eggs – doctors assured us everything looked fine..But it never happened..I miscarried – extremelly painful experience..
ReplyDelete2ww is the worst to survive. No matter, whether it's you who're going to carry the pregnancy or your surrogate. - this is the same roller coaster!
Here are some tips on how to feel less stressed.
DeleteHave a support. Either from your partner or someone in the family or a friend who is optimistic and positive.
Make sure you rest. Try to relax, watch movies, listen to music, curl up on the sofa and read a book, enjoy a lovely meal. It may be helpful to take some time off work.
Keep yourself busy, have fun. Distraction is very important during the process.
Talk to your partner about your feelings. Support for one another is extremely important in making sure that you are mentally and emotionally in the right space. Sometimes it can be very hard on your relationship with each other so don’t be afraid to seek professional help of a fertility counsellor.
Be aware of the internet. Avoid reading about other women’s experiences and searching for information on signs of positive or negative outcomes of fertility treatments. Too much time online can lead to too much obsessing. Too much obsessing can make it feel like years.
You can write your thoughts down throughout the day as they pop up. Or you can do it once a day on regular basis. Put all the things that are turning over and over in your mind down on paper and out of your head.
Use relaxation techniques. Try meditation and mindfullness. Take slow, deep breaths when you are feeling anxious. These techniques can assist you physiologically, as well as being mentally calming.
Try to be happy about the present and let the future simply unfold!
Wish you the best of luck in the world!
Firstly, congrats, hun, with your pregnancy. This is marvelous news!!
ReplyDeleteAnother thing women quite often feel the symptoms like yours. I find them absolutely natural and normal as we can hardly imagine what our bodies go through with meds, injections, supplements..whatever which is not natural at all. The tiredness and nausea you get then is something else. Some women never get symptoms and each pregnancy is different. So don't worry about yours now. Moreover you don't have long to wait for the scan. It's difficult to relax during pregnancy, you go from milestone to milestone. It definitely gets a little easier as you progress but irrational thoughts do seem to creep in along the way. Stay busy and take care of yourself.
My abdominal pain lasted for 2 weeks, bothered me too much. Also dizziness from time to time. I remember someone told me the symptoms would boost in 7-8 weeks! So I was so much scared of this as had to work at a new project and having constant pains and bloating wasn't the nice prospective - lol. But I'd never had them worse.
Wish you all the best, hun Xx
It’s widely known that obese people trying to conceive are at an increased risk of miscarriage. They also are more likely to have issues with egg quality. They also might have a decreased response to IVF medications and certain procedures. Egg retrieval can also be more difficult in obese patients, because it’s harder to access or visualize the ovaries. Plus, once an obese person becomes pregnant, there’s an increased risk of gestational diabetes. Given these risks, most fertility clinics have a strict BMI limit for those interested in receiving IVF treatments. I believe one should be aware of the factors and possible risks and if needed take time for preparing the body through loosing extra lbs when eating healthy and going in for sports. That won’t harm anyway.
ReplyDelete