Thursday 10 November 2016

Do you know how it feels?

It’s the seventh day after Dipherelin injection. It seems I’m feeling quite well. I’ve read some clutchy stories of how women feel after this medication: from dizziness to severe cramps and vomiting. As a newbie, I was really scared of it. Moreover, the doze is quite high (I had 3.75). I used to have headache, though. Apart of that, the place where I had injection to also used to ache for around two or three days (sorry for intimate details, but it’s in the bottom). I also felt some drawing pain in my right ovary but it was very occasional and not severe. I hope that my body’s reaction can be called good reaction, after all. Most women say that their period starts in a few days after the injection. Most women indicate their new period with menstrual bleeding. In my case, it’s a bit more complicated. I can’t have bleeding. If you remember my first posting, I had hysterectomy after my first baby was born. It was almost 4 years ago. It was partial hysterectomy: they removed uterus, but my ovaries were left (hopefully). Since then my menstruation is never accompanied with bleeding. But still I have it. I know it might sound a bit weird, but it’s just about elementary anatomy: no uterus, no endometrium, no bleeding. Still I have periods more or less similar to what a normal lady my age has. Despite of the surgery, my ovaries function ok and still produce all female hormones needed for my normal existing. However, just after the surgery and up to 3 months I had to take hormonal medicines together with a lot of other medications needed for my rehab. Since then my period day can be indicated only with the help of blood tests. However, I often feel ovulation and PMS even without tests. Hormones are still striking my brain and I still can be a real scratch-cat a couple of days prior to new cycle. I know it might be hard to figure out how it all works after such a serious surgery. Believe me: I used to feel I’m no longer a woman after hysterectomy. I used to think that I will gain weight, shave my moustache and never ever have any pleasure from sexual intercourse. My rehabilitation period was tough, mostly psychologically. My two dearest men were the ones who didn’t let me sink in depression. My son and husband: the first one always kept me busy and demanded attention and the second one persistently reminded me that he still loves me, and even more than before. He thanked me for the son. He told it almost every day. He loves him immensely. He told that we will overcome all troubles together. I got used to my new condition. Still there was at least one advantage of that all: no regular bleeding. Hey, answer ladies: have you ever dreamt of it? At least once? Not to have menstrual bleeding. Never. Have you? Frankly speaking, I had. I used to have heavy and painful menstruation since high school. And yes, there were times when my inner voice told me: “I hate this all. I wish I never experience it again!”. My “dream” came true. However, in my 16 I hardly ever thought that no menstruation means no babies. This idea never came to my teen’s head. I still can’t understand why women are called “the weaker sex”. We experience these pains ever since our 13, then survive all 9 months of pregnancy with all that morning sickness, then 20+ kg weight gain, then painful delivery and rehab period, topped with all the difficulties of lactation. How can they call us “the weaker sex”? It puzzles me.

16 comments:

  1. I can totally agree on weaker sex part, I think it just became social construct over time, because women tend not to speak a lot about what they are going through. It's so great that there are people like you out there, who can talk about such conditions with courage! I hope that with people like you we will be able to break social wall of underestimating women conditions, so people will realise how hard it is to deliver a baby and what painful journey it is. Best wishes and baby dust. xx

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  2. I'm writing this not with aims to be comforted or emphasized (there was a time when I thought I should be, though). that time is over. now it's time to enjoy what we have (and we have a lot) and to strive for what we want to have. I think this should be the main principle of a strong woman/man (no matter) of 21st century.

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    1. Oh yes, that's right, hun. We have to be strong to fight for our miracles. Though this path is usually long and unpredictable. The thing I realized is that men suffer as well from infertility as women. But they tend not to show this, pretending they're strong and untouchy. Men..It's so important to have all those emotions balanced between two, as there are not so many compassionate people around as we all expect, right?.

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  3. While some believe you can conceive on any day of the month, and others say the opposite - that you have to have sex on the exact day of ovulation - both are actually false, Moore says. In reality, there’s a six-day “fertile window” in your cycle—the five days leading up to ovulation, through the day of ovulation. And of those six days, the optimal time frame to conceive is during the two to three days prior to ovulation and the day of ovulation itself, when you’re most fertile. Once your egg has been released, it’s viable for about 12 to 24 hours. After that, you typically can’t get pregnant until your next menstrual cycle.
    Of course we never think about ovulation and making kids when we're teens. just like you've mentioned ''no menstruation - no baby''. ho really cares at 17 or even at 21 or sth?!! We all think we have a plenty of time ahead for making kids. So there's no need to hurry. How mistaken we are though..I understand what you mean. And the thing about ''week sex'' I totally agree we AREN'T. Show me at list one man going through this very rollercoaster: nerves, time, job, finances, pills, injectibles so on and so forth. Silly thing to think so!

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  4. It's amazing Biotexcom treats the toughest cases. They do a great job for the infertile and we are thankful for it. I totally tike their approach of work. They invest huge money sums in scientific researches. They cooperate with the foreign professionals and get the best from the repro system experience. They are open about possible problems and are quick with accurate answers if sth is going on out of planned. Finally they are resposible for every treatment step. All this makes them unique.

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  5. ''I used to feel I’m no longer a woman after hysterectomy. I used to think that I will gain weight, shave my moustache and never ever have any pleasure from sexual intercourse. My rehabilitation period was tough, mostly psychologically.''Understand you perfectly well. I started thinking I'm defective. Like a care, a machine, whatever which cannot work properly..A lady on some infertility board wrote me ''don't be hard on yourself! give yourself time! You're just raw from things. (mind here this sweet lady was going through rounds of ivf with donor egg, her dh was battling colon cancer..) All our stories are unique. Living after hysterectomy doesn't look like living before. This isn't the ordinary life you used to live before. But this is not the end of the game. This is an obstacle, a complication you have somehow to live with. And when understanding comes, you get the particular plan in your head. you just know you have to move this direction to succeed. And this all is too far away from ''weaker sex'' or sth.

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  6. Oh yes. It's a rollercoaster. The thing I struggled the most was having prego coworkers around. I hadn't been too open about my problem. But I thought, If the coworker was sure to be trusted, it felt like a bit of relief to know that someone there knew what I was dealing with every day. I had to come clean to my boss. Since all the appointments needed to be worked around. It turned out she had gone through fertility treatments previously. It was such a load off my chest!! That's how I got someone to vent to.

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  7. Oh what a busy time for you.. I just wanted to share my positive story with you. and hopefully this should give everyone some more hope. I was trying with my partner for 5 years with no luck. after 2 years I had all the tests done. it showed that I had swollen tubes with fluid which was a hydrosalpinx. My world came crashing down and it was awful. I then had a cycle of ivf which failed. My consultant said it was best to have my tube removed. I wanted it clipped (But there was literally no point in keeping the damaged tube.) So opted to have it removed as the liquid just flows back into the uterus. I then had another cycle of ivf. that cycle worked and I’m now 27 wks. So my advice to you is to stay positive. Try to eat as healthy as possible. Continue with a bit of exercise. You’re also still young in ‘medical eyes’ !! so you have lots of positives on your side. I wish you all the best on your journey! Throwing baby dust at you and lots of it!!

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  8. I just need to say this. Dr Elena is awesome! I asked her even for my sister who's struggling PCOS issue. She explained that the first steps for her are to implement lifestyle changes that can lessen symptoms. Then to induce ovulation through medication. Should ovulation be induced properly through medication, an IUI cycle, where washed sperm is placed into the uterus during ovulation, will be completed. Should a patient not achieve pregnancy after three IUI cycles, treatment such as IVF will be necessary, with far better results. Of course she gave some more detailed information in what should be done in particular. God bless the kind woman!!

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    1. PCOS is a very intricate and complicated condition..I'm sorry for your sister. Symptoms may vary a lot from woman to woman. Those might be the following:
      Reduced menstrual cycles than normal or complete lack of having any cycles.
      Some can have monthly cycles but not actually be ovulating.
      Heavy bleeding during your period, and spotting in between cycles.
      Hair loss on your scalp
      Excess hair growth on your body such as your face, chest, back, stomach, thumbs, or toes.
      Acne and oily skin
      Weight gain that is mostly gained around your midsection.
      Miscarriage and infertility
      Insulin resistance. This can cause miscarriage, poor egg quality, and irregular periods.
      Cysts on your ovaries
      Difficulty to lose weight despite dieting and exercise
      Multiple positive OPKs throughout your cycle, but no ovulation happens.
      Unfortunately there is no one single test that is done to diagnose PCOS. It is more a combination of different test results and your symptoms that will lead to a diagnoses..
      I'm glad Dr Elena at Biotexcom helped you both out of the problem.

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    2. When searching info for more insight of using Biotexcom clinic I came across this stange post on a board:
      ‘Hi, I understand that the majority of writers here are from the US and interested in surrogacy. I also understand that surrogacy cost in US 50k vs package of 29k in Ukraine sounds really great.
      I am looking into biotex to explore their egg donation without surrogacy, and what I found sounds a bit sketchy to me. They offer egg donation plus IVF packages only, “1 attempt package”, “2 attempts” package, and 5 attempts package – they never spell it out for you what does it mean “1 attempt”? Does it mean 1 IVF cycle and that is it, what about frozen embryo transfer left over after your “bad” 1 “attempt”? It certainly should be cheaper than IVF itself to transfer left over frozen embryo, and a separate price should be given for that. But, hence, they do not have a separate price for frozen embryo transfer – its not listed. They try to sell you these packages with “extra” unnecessary stuff, like airport pick up (btw its $2 using local public transport), hotel (btw its about $30 per night even less) and food. 
      The contracts you make not with Biotex but with other company Renaissance, and you can not change it or leave once you signed it. If you can not show up for treatment on time for whatever reason – you will be penalized with up to 3k fee. 
      If, the company does not provide a detailed list of services and procedures with their prices, something is wrong…’
      And it made me worried a lot as we were almost agreed with the choice. We spent hours discussing this post again and again, whilst looking through their packages on line. Comparing the things we realized the person who’d written the post was completely illiterate. He or she probably did some scan reading not actually investigating the core. Why didn’t he/she mention their guarantee aspect? Saying that they will continue trying unless they’re successful. If no – they refund money back. I’m sure there aren’t many clinics throughout the world with similar offers! Or why not telling people about their huge donor database & lots of women participating in surrogacy? I guess one should study things well first before saying a clinic is not worthy..

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  9. Hi. A close friend of mine is passing her treatment overseas. She called me yesterdays and told they are likely to have their cycle delayed. By now she has got no clear answers, I suppose she has to wait until tomorrow to get to know what’s going on. And frankly I felt myself useless in trying to explain why it might have happened.. I know she needs answers and some soothing words but I really feel hard to find them right.
    So I wanna ask you, experienced ladies to list the reasons why IVF cycle can be delayed. Actually I’ve done some research and got them the following but I guess there might be more.
    1. Because of OHSS. This is when drugs used for egg production stimulation could enlarge the ovaries to dangerous extents.
    2. The ovaries could not respond to the fertility drugs at all.
    3. No embryos developed because the collected eggs were not fertilized.
    4. Sometimes when collecting the eggs it turns out there are none in the follicles. The follicles could develop but still be empty inside.
    The last one really hits. What will you say, ladies??
    Hoping for the best.

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  10. There are so many options. But someof them are very sketchy. We can definitely read some horror surrogacy stories happened in Thailand and India. After much gleaning in forums, it becomes clear that Ukraine may be the choice. First, it is relatively affordable. With the research done, with all-inclusive plans starting at 32k up to 50k. They covers absolutely everything outside the plane tickets. Also meds and all things that involve IVF for you if you are using your own eggs, surrogate screening and medical costs, and birth at the hospital. It is also the same price if you choose to use donor eggs instead, which is a nice back-up plan to have if things don’t work out with your own, at no additional cost. The strongest side is that one of the clinics there guarantees you a baby. In case the first surrogate doesn’t work out, they will try again with another one using your frozen embryos until they are successful. Also, it seems like Ukraine is one of the few places where the laws favor the intended parents rather than the surrogate. Here is what I read. Under Ukrainian law, the baby is yours from the moment of conception. Once the baby is born, the birth certificate is issued with your names and the surrogate cannot claim any rights. Lastly, this is going to be time-wise. Pregnancy usually starts right after embryos are created because many women participate in surrogacy in Ukraine.

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  11. We’re currently passing surrogacy program with donor egg in Ukraine. Here’s what I’d like to share. We did a huge research on where it would be easier and smoother to perform. Legal aspects of surrogacy in the UK, for ex.
    The birth mother is the legal mother irrespective of the conception method and genetic make-up of the baby. The surrogate’s husband if married is considered the legal father and neither can surrender parental duties. If the surrogate has no partner or they are unmarried and not in a civil partnership, the child will have no legal father. The following criteria must be met in order to apply for a Parental Order: Being over 18. Commissioning parent must be resident in UK. At least one of the applicants must be genetically related to the child. Apply after 6 weeks of birth and before 6 months. The surrogate parents must consent to the making of the order. No money other than expenses must have been paid in respect of the surrogacy arrangement. The child must reside with the commissioning parent under English law once the Parental Order is granted the intended parents will receive a new birth certificate stating that they are the legal parents of the child. Quite complicated isn’t it?!

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    1. Then we looked into the process of surrogacy in the US, and found it to be overwhelmingly expensive, which was a factor, unless you have a kind family member or friend that is willing to carry it for you. If things go wrong, such as a surrogate backing out, or unfortunate situations like a miscarriage, you automatically have to pay at least $5k to match with another surrogate and do their health workup through the agency. It just seemed that there were so many costs that could be added at any time, and it seemed so unreasonable that most of that cost was going to the agency or lawyer, rather than the surrogate, who receives on average of $20 – 30k for the pregnancy. What also bothered us was that in some states, surrogate mothers retain a parental right to the child, and can even pursue custody. Even though the embryos placed in the surrogate have both of our DNA, the surrogate mother’s name is on the birth certificate, and then you have to go through the process of adopting the baby in court. The biggest factor of all for us, though, is time. All of the legal paperwork, signing a contract, matching a surrogate, having the surrogate go through the work-up, and so on, and next thing you know, it’s been a year or two since you started the process. Having already put in 7 years, we weren’t willing to wait for an indefinite amount of time again.

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  12. I happened to use donor eggs for ivf when I was 41 yo. Had 4 eggs and all survived to 5 day blast. Here is what I did leading to a postive blood test. I took 2 weeks off from work. Day 1/Transfer Day: two 5 day blasts, went straight home to bed. Only got up to use restroom and eat. Ate cooked spinach, eggs and chicken for protein. Drank room temperature water, feet up, wore socks, watched lots of TV and read. Day 2: bed rest, ate same food and soup, had very slight cramps. Day 3: bed rest, some mild cramps, very gassy, lost of appetite in the PM, short episode of lower back pain. Day 4: bed rest, lower back pain, no appetite, mild cramps, gassy, diarrhea, mild nausea, one episode of heartburn, bloated, itchy skin in the PM. Day 5: bed rest, woke up at 3am with severe heartburn, slight cramps, bloated, finally showed after breakfast since the first day of transfer. I was crazy enough to survive not showing for 4 days because I read somewhere to not shower for a couple of days. Itchy skin at night and lower back pain. Day 6: bed rest, slight cramps, lower back pain that would come and go. Day 7: Woke up very early and had diarrhea, lower back pain and slight cramps in the AM but disappeared during the day. Had little sleep, felt tired the entire day, slight cramps appeared in the PM. Day 8: semi bed rest, woke up at 5am with heartburn, diarrhea, no appetite and took pregnancy test..postive!! Unfortunately one of my embies didn’t make home letting another one alone.

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