Hi. This is my first blog ever so please don’t judge
too strictly.
Probably, I’m neither William Shakespeare nor Pablo
Coelho but I know letters and I have what to tell you. Is this enough for
starting a blog? You tell me.
To begin with, let me give some insight information about
me, my family and reasons for writing this. I’m a mother of three year old
toddler and a wife of my dear husband. My name is Agnete. My family lives in
Oslo, Norway. We enjoy travelling, mountain skiing, paintball and eating out.
We don’t have a lot of friends but those who are inside our family circle are
our dearest people in the world. We run our small business, work hard and play
hard as well. In general, we are a typical family of three, loving and caring
to each other. But! It seems that happiness is always bitter sweet, unfortunately.
I paid my dues for mothering. I gave birth to my dear son and on the same day
the doctors let me know that I will never be able to have more children. This
was the happiest and yet the saddest day ever. Due to a big rupture they had to
remove my womb. They were very afraid to tell it to me and we right. My
postpartum depression was multiplied with real grieve now. Why? Why me? What
will my man say? Will he still love me knowing that I’m infertile? So many
questions were running through my head. My husband was also shocked. I know he
had a tough talk to a doctor. Well, it was a very sad page in our both lives.
Our delight was our baby boy who day by day helped us recover and slip away from
the problem. The scars healed, the baby was growing and it seemed that we
survived all that.
For almost three years we were afraid to talk to each
other about it again. I don’t even remember who was brave enough to talk first.
It seems that this thought was maturating in our heads for a while. We just
understood that despite of all this, we still want to have more kids as we
always were dreaming of. My husband and I, we both come from big families. I
have a brother and my husband (his name is Martin, btw) has two siblings. So
having 2+ kids was like a matter of course for us. On that day he told that he
wants a daughter and a sister to our little baby boy. At that time, I already
knew that we could use surrogacy but I couldn’t even imagine that we would ever
talk about it that seriously.
Hey, Agnete. I finally got some time to read your blog here. That's great you finally started it as I know you were hesitating for a while. Your story is full of love and despair but I'm sure you're on your way to the desired happiness. Please keep posting and updating on how you proceed with your surrogacy journey. KIM
ReplyDeleteThe thought I thought when first told we had to go surrogacy route was ‘How difficult will this be emotionally on me and my spouse?’ So the very first thing we did was reaching out to a professional mental health provider specializing in reproductive psychology. This seemed to be the most challenging process of all..Then I thought ‘Will I be able to trust my carrier?’ This takes a huge leap of faith. So the emotional task for us was to let go of the control of the pregnancy. Yet stay closely involved and allow the carrier to do the best job she can. Another concern ‘What should my relationship be with my surrogate before, during and after surrogacy?’ Now I believe, surrogacy relationships can take many forms. Some parents and surrogates become lifelong friends and even plan joint family vacations years after their journeys are over. Others stay in frequent communication during the process but seek a relationship that is less tight-knit after the birth. Of course either is fine. Parents and surrogates enjoy a variety of types of relationship after the process ends. I guess the specific nature of the relationship is up to everyone’s comfort level. I guess the more you share about your matching preferences during application and consultation phases, the easier it is to match with a good fit. The following one was ‘What if I am upset by something my surrogate is doing?’ For this case I was advised this. The best thing to do when there is a disagreement is to talk to your surrogate in an honest, respectful, and non-reactive way. Speak to her as soon as there is an issue. It’s easy to let small problems get blown out of proportion. If this makes you anxious, utilize your resources to help guide you with the conversation, such as your clinic or nursing staff, or mental health provider. Fortunately up to this moment we had no troubles like that. Well what should I add here? I think I could speak up on surrogacy all day long as there are too many issues to discuss. I guess one more thing is to be mentioned. Probably one of the biggest concerns. ‘Will my surrogate become emotionally attached and not want to give our baby to us?’ This sounds illiterate for my ear NOW but not THEN. Unless you know Ukrainian law doesn’t allow surrogates to keep the babies it does really sound stressful. As there are so many episodes when IP have to struggle for their babies with a surrogate. Thankfully here in Ukraine it’s just out of the question.
DeleteI am here too. I have found the link of this blog on the forum I think we both have been using for a long time. And you are killing it girl! it is so interesting to read from the perspective of another woman who is getting her tx done. I know that I will be going for donor’s eggs and sperm in my ivf tx but still can't calm down. I know that I will undergo only endometrium stimulation and it is so scary.. I can't explain. Anyway. Good luck with your blog! I know think about creating my own haha
ReplyDeleteIt a pleasure for me to be helpful as I know how it feels to be a total newbie in assisted reproduction. i'll keep posting on how we proceed.
ReplyDeleteDon't be afraid of stimulation. With donor eggs, they will only transfer embryo to your uterus. In my case, it'll be egg puncture and it's a serious surgery I'm really afraid of
One more thing to add as usual) It’s always easier to say the idea. For example why not to try for a sibling?! But it’s never that easy on practice so to say. Usually people don’t know how much effort is needed to succeed in the treatment plan. For me the most annoying one was when being asked ‘Hey, hun, why don’t you want to have a baby??’ Even when we were open about the trouble conceiving. People seemed asking just automatically with no actual understanding. In this case it’s really better to keep silent..
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with you, Mel. It's really better to keep silent than utter such silly things..Here's one more I hated ''When are you going to have kids?? You don't get younger, honey, you know..'' I just wanted to scrape one's eyes out hearing that! I do realize time never plays on our side with fertility. BUT there must have been the thing restricting me from pregnancy, eh?? Silly people they are to think we need those pieces of advice..
DeletePeople do ask automatically..This is where everything really starts. Pretreatment preparation for IVF: Comprehensive lab tests give a clearer picture of your fertility, so that your fertility experts can offer you an individualized IVF protocol. Common pre-IVF testing includes: A blood panel. Ultrasounds. Infectious disease screening. Uterine evaluation. Male fertility testing, including a sperm analysis. Start birth control pills: The next step is to regulate your menstrual cycle and prepare your ovaries. You can expect to take birth control pills for 2 to 4 weeks after testing and diagnosis, depending on the length of your cycle. And these are just some former steps!! Not the best time to listen to someone's '' Come on, don't worry, you'll do it! Relax..etc'' I pretend to keep my personal strugglings in secret. No one understands better than me what's best for me. I have to find this emotional piece every day. They don't even care how hard at times it could be!!! The thing I know is that I don't want to listen to silly awkward words of support from those who've been fast and smoothly with their own kids. while I've been struggling for long years..I know, ladies, it's tough. I know it pains much. but we all know what we're doing all this for. Good luck to you, lovelies!
DeleteOh my! I know how tough those family gatherings might be..I had different attitude towards it whilst struggling my issues. Yes, MY issues only. Dh has always been perfect. So firstly I was trying to be the part of every event - marriages, babyshowers, birthdays so on. Always ''baby centered'' ones. And it was so hard for me to see all those babies around and not mine..It was heartbreaking. So then I began inventing stories or some other good excuses for not coming. I'm not sure friends and relatives understood me properly. Some of them got even closer. Others became more distant. But I know this was purely my personal choice. I didn't want to go through this torture again and again. So yep I broke and let myself grieve and blame everyone prego around they were and I wasn't..I don't know whether you understand what I mean. But it was me then struggling hard for mind peace.
ReplyDeleteI happened to see this blog right now, but thought I cannot read and go away as I've been through the same things. I experienced every nerve you're talking about. And who knows, maybe my posts will contribute to one's understanding of the surrogacy process. It's pros and cons. Some hidden issues one might be aware of..Who knows..I just felt I had to share my story too.
I've had this mental image in my head since I was just a little girl playing with my baby dolls. that one day i would be a mommy. and I've held that unconditional love in my heart since then just waiting for my moment in life to love my own baby. and give that beautiful gift all of me and my unconditional love that i've held in for so many years. It's a beautiful image, one that never lets me lose hope. Very slowly though, every single day for the past year, time has slowly chipped away at that image. I know so many strong woman who wait for their moment for years and years. they hold their heads high and never give in. i wish i could be as strong as them. This past year has been the most trying, devasting, and emotional year of my life. I wanted that baby within a year of marrying my husband. we have been together for 5 years. there is no doubt in my mind that this man is the person i want to raise my children with. Every month is like quick sand. i try, i wait, i get my hopes up. i start my cycle over, and continue to fall more and more into losing hope. Such were the things just before we first headed off for treatments in ukraine. We also contacted some people who were successful with treatments at BioTexCom. Kind women they took time to explain things well and helped me get more insight into the process. I'm glad we found this very solution 'cause could not endure the burden on myself anymore..
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel like it’s hit me like a tonne of bricks. I’m lying awake sobbing my heart out. Then pull myself together knowing it's not the end of my story yet. And that I have to be strong to deal will all this.. it really felt familiar when you said you are tired of feeling like a failure every time you get your period. Its so hard. And I know its hard on relationships. I've found open communication with my husband has really helped and brought us closer. We just talk it through and don't give up. So far its made us stronger. We've learned fertility is not a "me" or "you" thing. It is an "us" thing. I know everyone has a different kind of love and relationship. And I hope telling you about our experience helps and doesn't sound preachy.
ReplyDeleteHere one more thing to add. If someone thinks infertility definitely influences relationship or marriage. A kind woman once told me '' Just remember you have value beyond your fertility. You have worth beyond fertility. There are reasons a man would want to be with you that extend beyond being able have a child. You contribute to the relationship in other ways''. This helped me much.
Before beginning a cycle of IVF, consider important questions, including:
DeleteHow many embryos will be transferred? The number of embryos transferred is typically based on the age and number of eggs retrieved. Since the rate of implantation is lower for older women, more embryos are usually transferred — except for women using donor eggs.
Most doctors follow specific guidelines to prevent a higher order multiple pregnancy — triplets or more — and in some countries, legislation limits the number of embryos that can be transferred at once. Make sure you and your doctor agree on the number of embryos that will be transferred before the transfer procedure.
What will you do with any extra embryos? Extra embryos can be frozen and stored for future use for several years. Not all embryos will survive the freezing and thawing process, although most will.
Cryopreservation can make future cycles of IVF less expensive and less invasive. However, the live birth rate from frozen embryos is slightly lower than the live birth rate from fresh embryos. Or, you might be able to donate unused frozen embryos to another couple or a research facility. You might also choose to discard unused embryos.
How will you handle a multiple pregnancy? If more than one embryo is transferred to your uterus, IVF can result in a multiple pregnancy — which poses health risks for you and your babies. In some cases, fetal reduction can be used to help a woman deliver fewer babies with lower health risks. Pursuing fetal reduction, however, is a major decision with ethical, emotional and psychological consequences.
Have you considered the potential complications associated with using donor eggs, sperm or embryos or a gestational carrier? A trained counselor with expertise in donor issues can help you understand the concerns, such as the legal rights of the donor. You also may need an attorney to file court papers to help you become legal parents of an implanted embryo.
About 4 weeks ago I had a scan on my ovaries and I just got my results yesterday. I am so worried from what the doctor said they found a cyst. which is filled with blood on my right ovary and then she said they found a shadow on my left one. I have been feel rather ill lately. just in pain a lot. and been feeling so sick and tired all the time which I suppose I have had for a while now. I expected the cyst on the right ovary as I had that right side pain for 5 yrs. but when I got for pelvic scan they never found anything. I have had scans but nothing showed up but continued to experience a lot of pain in my right side. I met Mr Right around 6 months ago. I thought that because he had a daughter there would be no pressure to have a baby. A kind of had that feeling I would be unable to have kids. With many experiences I have had just thought I will find out if I do get serious with someone again. But the pain has got worse and it's now that time. I need to know if I can have babies still. I feel this is a big massive blow as I really love this man now. I know he wants a baby. It is still early days for me and him but I am really scared. I am preparing myself for the worse outcome and having to end this relationship. I have been upset since I found out and I have to wait to go see a specialist. I just feel really ill and the doctor gave me painkillers. I just don't know how I will cope with what next. I am trying to be positive but I am really scared. Can anyone advise me on what to do?
ReplyDeleteThe shadow on my left ovary scaring me more than anything as been reading up on ovarian cancer. I know this can be mistaken for ibs. and I have had bad trouble going to toilet (sorry tmi).
I am getting worse and worried about right side as a friend told me that the cyst filled with blood can burst and to be careful. So what am I to do next??
I can fully relate to your feeling anxious again with the process. Though our cases somewhat differ. To have our son we opted for ivf first in Poland. We could use my own eggs then and dh’s semen which was brilliant. Things changed dramaticaly when we decided to give a try for a sibling for him. Our doc found out my eggs became aged so we had less than 5% of conceiving with them. Furthermore I got heart complications due to previous disease. That’s why Dr wasn’t excited about the testing results and told I’d better not risk with achieving pregnancy myself. He said it was too dangerous. So we needed tooking onto plan B – surrogacy. Still having several unanswered questions in, I felt that that beginning experience was every bit as painful as the events that have followed. For us both that moment was a huge challenge to face. After loads of researches done we decided to apply for surrogacy at Ukrainian clinic Biotexcom. So the same impatience..The same thoughts and feelings though the procedure differed entirely. It’s just nice to have someone to share your concerns with. We’ve encountered some other couples at the clinic. And we were amazed how open were the people about the processes they were going through. We could discuss things while going for a walk or elsewhere. People seemed to be caring and understanding as they were going through the same thing. This was a huge factor. A great support for those facing the things for the first time. Biotexcom patients are very international needless to say. It gained a good reputy among the world’s clinics. And one can easily see why.
DeleteI understand to the core how infertility feels. It took a toll on our relationship with dh and all our family. My husband only gets it so much, which makes it even harder. For him, okay you're not pregnant this month, we'll try again. Me? Every time I get my period I just want to curl into a ball and cry. I'm 36. I've never been pregnant. I've been through a lot of my own medical stuff with lots of medications. So I don't know if I even can get pregnant- and that is controlling me. Doctors have largely rejected my concerns over the years. When I've brought up that I want to eventually get pregnant, they look at me from across the table, don't lift a single finger, and tell me that they see no reason why it would be difficult for me. Um... well, now that my husband I have been trying for 7 yrs, NOW will surrogacy help? More months of seeing other people get pregnant I just can't bare. Seeing others who have children and putting on that smile and being really happy for them when I just want to break down in tears?! I'm hoping so much the surro/biotexcom will finally help us...
ReplyDeleteBefore beginning a cycle of IVF, one should consider important questions, including: How many embryos will be transferred? The number of embryos transferred is typically based on the age and number of eggs retrieved. Since the rate of implantation is lower for older women, more embryos are usually transferred. except for women using donor eggs. IVF involves several steps - ovulation induction, egg retrieval, sperm retrieval, fertilization and embryo transfer. One cycle of IVF can take about two weeks. and more than one cycle may be required. We have to look realistically onto things. If you're using your own eggs during IVF, at the start of a cycle you'll begin treatment with hormones to stimulate your ovaries to produce multiple eggs (Rather than the single egg that normally develops each month.) Multiple eggs are needed because some eggs won't fertilize or develop normally after fertilization. Which is also a huge obstacle. The procedure is emotionally and physically draining. so one should be ready to dedicate some life part to it. But it's all worthy. Moreover we also have donor eggs as an option. Also using the surro might prevent us from possible health complications. When I first was researched 'possible risks' I found this, saved it~
ReplyDeleteSpecific steps of IVF cycle always carry risks, including:
Multiple births. IVF increases the risk of multiple births if more than one embryo is implanted in your uterus. A pregnancy with multiple fetuses carries a higher risk of early labor and low birth weight than pregnancy with a single fetus does.
Premature delivery and low birth weight. Research suggests that use of IVF slightly increases the risk that a baby will be born early or with a low birth weight.
Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. Use of injectable fertility drugs, such as human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), to induce ovulation can cause ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, in which your ovaries become swollen and painful.
Signs and symptoms typically last a week and include mild abdominal pain, bloating, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. If you become pregnant, however, your symptoms might last several weeks. Rarely, it's possible to develop a more-severe form of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome that can also cause rapid weight gain and shortness of breath.
I'm going to continue in my further post as they can't publish more than 4k signs at once.
Ectopic pregnancy. About 2 to 5 percent of women who use IVF will have an ectopic pregnancy - when the fertilized egg implants outside the uterus, usually in a fallopian tube. The fertilized egg can't survive outside the uterus, and there's no way to continue the pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteBirth defects. The age of the mother is the primary risk factor in the development of birth defects, no matter how the child is conceived. More research is needed to determine whether babies conceived using IVF might be at increased risk of certain birth defects. Some experts believe that the use of IVF does not increase the risk of having a baby with birth defects.
Ovarian cancer. Although some early studies suggested there may be a link between certain medications used to stimulate egg growth and the development of a specific type of ovarian tumor, more recent studies do not support these findings.
Stress. Use of IVF can be financially, physically and emotionally draining. Support from counselors, family and friends can help you and your partner through the ups and downs of infertility treatment.
All this made me feel terrified, and sad, and angry - so that you invest huge sums of money, but get no guarantees..In casewe use the surro's help, things change accordingly. so the hugest burden for the intended mom is to produce some healthy eggs for the fertilization (or even no, if applying for donor eggs). I think I can understand your ''from total despair to faint hope''.
It's more likely a good reputable fertility dr will offer some of the less invasive treatment plans first before moving onto ivf. For example, ovulation induction may be used by women who are not ovulating or are not ovulating regularly, or who are producing only low levels of hormones that are required to enable her to conceive. Ovulation induction involves taking a hormone medication (oral tablet or injection), which stimulates the production of follicle stimulating hormone. This encourages the development of one or more follicles. When the follicles are large enough, another hormone is administered which releases the egg from the follicle. If the couple has intercourse around this time, the chances of conception are greatly increased.
ReplyDeleteAnd if all those initial plans fail or don't fit the particular circumstances, - ivf might be the answer.
I'm glad I've found this very blog. It's been yrs time span, so I hope you've already got your ''planned 2 kids'' lol. At least I'm hoping for this so much..I think it's goona be a long nigth spent on reading..lol I won't resist to know your whole story.
ReplyDeleteSo let me share my story with you too. I'm 45, not a spring chicken. Both not spring chickens - dh is 52. He's kids from his previous marriages. Me too. BUT as it goes, we met each other late in life - I know we'll have to staggle hard to have OUR kid. You know, I never felt pity for those who were venting of their secondary infertility. (I'd even rather say infertility at all. because I could not feel the pain - I have two kids of my own. my new dh has 2 as well. I could hardly imagine how it migth feel for some people to have just NONE). I feel ashamed for this now when I've found myself in the same boat. We've been trying with dh for 2 yrs with no joy. Our sex turned into routine habbit - relations are cracking on this point too.. We both are tired of waiting and expecting and having nothing - though both of us have so called proved fertility..I think God's punishing me I wasn't compassionate with others..
Well, we have already started attending consults with repro centers in Kiev. We have 3 on the list, but frankly speaking, the more we read, the more we come to conclusion we'll use BioTexCom. So I'm really thankful I've found this blog of yours for me to get more insight and draw the final decision.
Package costs at BioTexCom are affordable, surely, I haven't seen those before (meaning for those very set of services they offer). I know in case we'd need donor egg they won't want extra fees from us. They include the medications to the package costs which is great too. I quite often happen to see people are asking for where to buy meds cheaper - I'm sure this contributes to even more stress. So that's good the clinic has thought the things well out.
I know they'll want us to pass loads of tests and analyses - people are writing about this too - But none gets frustrated because they know what's it done for - They wanna get the whole pic of what might be going on with your fertility..
I'm also not ready to accept donor egg. I've heard, BioTexCom has recently introduced their unique method of mitochondrial donation. (am quite interested whether our dr will advise us on this). Such a thrilling journey ahead!!
By now, thank you for the time taken for sharing your experience with us. We'll see what happens next.
When choosing an in vitro fertilization (IVF) clinic, keep in mind that a clinic's success rate depends on many factors, such as patients' ages and medical issues, as well as the clinic's treatment population and treatment approaches. Ask for detailed information about the costs associated with each step of the procedure.
ReplyDeleteBefore beginning a cycle of IVF using your own eggs and sperm, you and your partner will likely need various screenings, including:
Ovarian reserve testing. To determine the quantity and quality of your eggs, your doctor might test the concentration of follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), estradiol (estrogen) and antimullerian hormone in your blood during the first few days of your menstrual cycle. Test results, often used together with an ultrasound of your ovaries, can help predict how your ovaries will respond to fertility medication.
Semen analysis. If not done as part of your initial fertility evaluation, your doctor will conduct a semen analysis shortly before the start of an IVF treatment cycle.
Infectious disease screening. You and your partner will both be screened for infectious diseases, including HIV.
Practice (mock) embryo transfer. Your doctor might conduct a mock embryo transfer to determine the depth of your uterine cavity and the technique most likely to successfully place the embryos into your uterus.
Uterine cavity exam. Your doctor will examine your uterine cavity before you start IVF. This might involve a sonohysterography — in which fluid is injected through the cervix into your uterus — and an ultrasound to create images of your uterine cavity. Or it might include a hysteroscopy — in which a thin, flexible, lighted telescope (hysteroscope) is inserted through your vagina and cervix into your uterus.
Hi Ladies, it is wonderful to know I am not alone in my journey and uncertainty. keep believing. There are so many positive stories out there and you are bound to be a positive statistic. Keep faith and all will work out- I feel it in my heart of hearts!! I am happy that things worked out for people as others need inspiring and happy endings like yours. As for me, here is a bit about what i am facing:
ReplyDelete37 and have been married for 4 years. I was diagnosed with Turners around 20 years old and thank goodness I am not too severely affected. I am quite short. A bit plump but at least not overly fat/obese. And only have a very slight hearing issue. Other than this I like to think I am very intelligent and rather normal looking if there is even such a thing. When diagnosed, I am sad to admit, my mother must have felt some degree of shock and the need to protect me, withdrawing me from discussions on the topic entirely. She took complete control. She insisted on finding out everything from the doctors herself and taling to them by herself, without me present. Thus, neither my mom, nor the doctor ever fully or properly explained the repercussions of such a diagnosis to me. Unfortunately it was too late for growth hormones. So i just received estrogen and progesterone. Years later i read a scary article about it contributing to breast cancer and stopped treatment...As i was young and not in any relationship, and not having got counselling (i believe that is something that should have occurred had i not allowed myself to be shut out of the discussions with the doctors). So I was not too concerned about pregnancy just yet or monthly cramps and bleeding... until now.
Suddenly i find myself 37 years old, approaching 38. With my two best friends both pregnant at the same time with baby#2. I want to start a family with my husband, and I am not proud to admit i find myself fighting a serious case of envy over what i cannot have. I wonder what i did to deserve this diagnosis that now begins to feel like punishment. What did i do wrong?
Of course my husband is supportive, but, not being in my shoes. Being a man, he can’t fully understand my case as a female. Of course i know this is not true as true strength and family is much more than that. So i am just keeping myself as positive as possible. My problem is a combination: financial and emotional...Continuing in my further post..
...That's said, I would love to undergo IVF and have the ability to carry my own child, with a donated egg from a donor, inseminated by dh. However i don't just have cash like that lying around. I am also terrified of the complications that can arise with my heart as i am bicuspid. I am thinking of seriously looking into surrogacy, leading to my emotional problem: The impact on me seeing her carry my man's child. and then the bond the surrogate would have with the child...if any.. It would feel like taking the child from its mother.. So where does the 'her child' end and 'my child' begin? it can get tricky to do this with family but i feel strongly that the child should at least have as much of my genetics as possible. shared genes is better than nothing. So there are many things to consider and two very different directions that i am being pulled in. I would prefer the surrogacy for logical reasons, but cannot only think of my own wants and needs...I know some people would recommend that I ask my husband what he would prefer. I have done just that. However his only answer is that he needs to think about it, which is not overly helpful. all he ever says for the last 11 months is that he must think about it. This worries me as i don't think it's that difficult to decide if you want a family with your life partner and best friend. I want to be patient but I can’t shake the feeling that he is put off by the fact that it wouldn’t be my own biological child, and this naturally makes me feel very insecure. So I have taken this journey of research by myself, looking for advise in any way, shape or form as to try to decide which option to go for -IVF vs Surrogacy. What should i do? Thank you so much for allowing me a safe space where i could pen my thoughts on this. Hope to hear from you soon. xoxo
ReplyDeleteWe were in the case if using de. Will share our experience briefly if I can. So me – not spring chicken, endo (severe) and pcos. Started tc with dh in 2013. When having got fed up with waiting for natural miracle jumped to fertility treatments. 2013 - 1 round clomid, bfn. 2014 - 1 fresh ivf with 5-day embies, early miscarriage. Then we both needed a long break to recover emotionally and decide wht to do further. Coming back 2016 (When biopsy results diagnosed severe stage of endo.) Thankfully dh's results came in healthy. That very year another fresh ivf with oe which ended in disaster for me and a horrible breakdown. With all this we started feeling uncomfortable with the clinic and decided to change it. I think that was the right decision at that time because I couldn't stand those walls and people and staff any more, everything reminding about our failures to become a real family.
ReplyDeleteWe moved to bio tex com where were suggested to consider using de with the procedure. At first it was a heartbreak for us, for me particulary. I couldn't let this thought settle down for weeks, but dh supported me. He told we went through lots of things and that it wasn't the time to panic. Finally we signed the contract with them for five shots. For 10k euro we got two great pluses. All the meds needed for the procedure were covered by the package, so we didn't have to worry about them that time. Another thing was refund in case of failure. It made us feel more confident. Since then we had nothing to regret bout. Docs and nurses were super caring. We could talk to our manager day'n'night and get answers. Our donor turned to be a very young attractive lady of course with proven fertility.
I don't know why but I just felt confident with the place. Just believed that it would bring us success, long-awaited baby. And it happened - we became a happy family of three!!!
It makes no difference how babies come to this world - with oe or de. You'll love them more than everything in this world, because he's absolutely yours! Financial cost is another side of the question. Here you should study carefully the offers of the clinics and evaluate them properly. Guaranteed programs is a great deal, know it for sure. Wish you all luck in the world..
Surrogacy may be confusing. Some people may not have had the chance to adequately research the surrogacy industry, and may be left with a collection of myths and misunderstandings. This is especially problematic for surrogacy, as there is a lot of conflicting or inaccurate information available online. Depending on who you talk to, surrogacy may be perceived as a noble act in helping another family, or a controversial one with certain legal risks. In reality, they are likely talking about two different types of surrogacy. Traditional – where the surrogate is the genetic mother of the baby. Gestational – where the egg and sperm are provided by the intended parents (or from a donor) and gestated in-vitro. This way surrogate has no genetic link to the child. The latter is the more modern version of surrogacy. It helps to prevent emotional and legal complications during or after the pregnancy. To make matters even more confusing, the legal protections of surrogacy can vary from state to state, from country to country. I found this very matter extremelly difficult to search out. I’m saying all this for the reason IT IS a rough way to pass. Even from the stage you need to get info first on what should be expected. And it is hard as people elsewhere may be not that kind as expected. I’ll share the experienced thing. Once having written the post on the ivf board (at the time we were passing treatement for our son) I got the following reply. It sounded like: ‘hmm..you say they’ll refund you money paid if you fail..so that you moved overseas after only several tries home..I’m not bying this..It’s sh**t..’ I cannot describe what I was feeling then..Heartbroken people aren’t sensitive to infertilte people like us..
ReplyDeleteAny infertility path is a rough way to pass. Starting from communicating with people. The surrogacy process is complex, and not being fully informed about the physical demands may leave you anxious or unclear. Every medical procedure comes with an inherent risk. And the best way to minimize it is to check the requirements and ensure your surrogate is fit and healthy enough.The best way to address ignorance or bias is with extensive research, so make sure you research as much as possible to be fully educated on the matter. No matter your views on surrogacy, there is no denying how far we’ve come for a woman carry another family’s child. As society grows and learns, I’m sure surrogacy will continue to become more accepted.
We all deserve to have our kids. We struggle so much to have them into our lives. We want them so desperately that sometimes we don’t feel ground under feet. But we know what for it’s all done. Nothing could be regreted on the way to happiness though sometimes it might demand more strength. I’m wishing you all the best of luck with your fertility treatments. Be blessed!
ReplyDeleteIf you use a surrogate in the UK she will be the legal mother of any child she carries! Here’s the disclosure of mother’s rights there: The woman who gives birth is always treated as the mother in UK law. She has the right to keep the child. Even if they’re not genetically related at all. Parenthood can be transferred by parental order or adoption. Surrogacy contracts aren’t enforced by UK law. Even if you’ve a signed deal with your surrogate and have paid for her expenses. It’s illegal to pay a surrogate in the UK (Except for their reasonable expenses.) The child’s legal father or ‘second parent’ will be a surrogate’s husband or partner unless: Legal rights are given to someone else through a parental order or adoption. A surrogate’s husband or civil partner didn’t give their permission to their wife or partner. If your surrogate has no partner, or they’re unmarried and not in a civil partnership, the child will have no legal father or second parent unless the partner actively consents. We wanted to seach for ideas excluding the possibilty of someone else parenthood but ours. We wanted our names to be issued with on a birth certificate of OUR baby. So we continued with looking onto Ukrainian options – BTC in particular..
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